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Why did I stick around? I love her. We have so much in common. She is a perfect match for me. I say I am 95% happily married. We have children together. We have a wonderful life together. Solving my sexual problems would be icing on the cake. 😊

Thanks for the idea. I’ll have to ask what she considers sexting. I think she’s thinking it is sharing nude pics. I’ll check. 😊

Thank you for your moral support. I was born in 1952. I also grew up in the days of the "flower child" and miss those times. My wife is 8 years my junior. She was born in 1960. She grew up in a different time and in a different way. Sex to her has always been a marital obligation versus a...

Thanks for sharing your perspective. Yes, I feel it is unfair, yet 99% of the people who chime in say she is justified in her disdain for me "cheating". The good news is that she signed up for counseling together. We'll see if she will loosen up the short leash a little bit. At least now I know...

Thanks for sharing and letting me know I’m not alone! 🙂

Thanks Galagirl, this is pretty much exactly what I had in mind. ;)

Girl is not a fantasy. I found a willing sex partner who is also in sexless marriage. She lives 8,000 miles away and is OK with online only. It became emotional too and when I told my wife I found a sexting partner she said I’m cheating and it opened old wounds. She is right. We had agreement...

Thanks for the book reference. Can you be a little more specific, either here or in PM? What beliefs were confirmed. What door was opened for her? Yes, it is an uphill battle, especially since I've been having a hell of a time finding poly friendly people.

I'm a 68 year old African American male married 28 years. I'm stuck in a sexless marriage. We are both retired empty nesters. She lost all interest in sex but I'm not ready to hang up my tennis shoes yet. Sex keeps me vibrant and alive. It gives me an intimate connection with another human being...

Also, I heard this from my life coach. "Normal is just someone's opinion." Don't let anyone play the "normal" card on you. My wife does it all the time. That is not normal. Normal people do this. Normal people do that. I would rather hang out with a bunch of "abnormal" people any given day...

I found some encouragement in Unfuck Your Intimacy by Dr. Faith Harper. She says that about half of all people prefer monogamy. And guess what that means. Half don't! They prefer polyamory in some shape or form but just don't admit to their "non-mainstream sexual proclivities". Don't fear you...

It's hard to build a relationship when there is lack of honesty and trust. Putting all the cards on the table is definitely a good first step.

You’re not ready You’re not ready for polyamory and open marriage. It requires mutual consent. You say you don’t care but everything you write says you do care. Work with someone to help you set up boundaries. Are you journaling? Since you sound like the only grown up in the room, it will...

Not a match? Easier said than done. We've been together since January and have a lot invested in the relationship. We match up in many other ways, so I'm looking for ways to resolve our differences without taking the easy way out. BTW, we're both victims of childhood trauma, but therapy is...

Thanks I'll check out Sex at Dawn. :)

Elders Wow! I feel for you. Hours on the phone must be a challenge. I hope you get some sleep and some self care time. You deserve it!:)

Thank you! Thanks for taking the time to provide resources Kevin. This is very helpful!

Thanks. I wouldn't feel comfortable to the dishonest part, even though I ocassionally fib to my wife when she asks what I'm doing. LOL

Wow, thanks Kevin. Great advice and thanks for offering an empathetic ear. I feel officially greeted and very welcome. :)

I just watched this show on Netflix, Monogamy Explained. It was great. It talked about the history of monogamy and gave nice plug to polyamory too. I just love what they had to say about our close cousins, the bonobos. "Clearly chimps and bonobos are anything but monogamous. Bonobos have sex at...