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    I have a problem...

    Sounds to me that she wants to guilt you into supporting her in the manner to which she plans to become accustomed all while she complains how exhausting it is to eat bonbons. I would just love to hear how she describes her plush little set up to others when you aren't around. Honestly, I...
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    How to get started with serious dating?

    The out in public with kids and metamours is something that has to be negotiated and the well being of the kids taken into account. Is he married? If so, what will his wife be comfortable with. I have a 15 year relationship in which there are two kids and they are only to think he and I are...
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    How to get started with serious dating?

    Getting started depends on how well you know them and what you are comfortable doing. I have started dating two people recently. The first date with the one I knew fairly well but still wasn't sure about consisted of going out for pizza and talking for hours. Then there was the one I knew...
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    I'm not sure I like being a secondary-- is it something I can get better at?

    Monogamy programs us to think that a relationship should move through stages, and if it gets stuck, we should end it. We start out with meeting people and dating casually, then dating seriously, then comes moving in together, possibly marriage, and kids. The great thing about polyamory is...
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    What if a poly goes REALLY south?

    I would personally say if Emma is that bad off, he needs to remove the hope and replace it with a call to the police and or social services that she has made threats of being a danger to herself. Sadly, I am speaking from experience. He can't save her. I had to have someone do that for me...
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    What if a poly goes REALLY south?

    It really strikes me that Brody is still riding the fence and applying pressure to you. If he had wanted to let you walk, and be with Emma, then he should have put on his big boy pants and done it when you put your foot down. Not placate you, then placate her, then placate you... You see this...
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    What is exclusive to romantic love?

    It seems like he is one of those "poly until the right one comes along" types. From some of the things you report him saying, he was hoping that you were "the one." However, by still wanting polyamory, you were telling him that he wasn't the one for you. See in his world, you are only poly until...
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    keeping ones poly in the closet

    I cannot be out at work, at all... ever... Morality clauses suck, but I love my career. I grew up in a very rural area. Everybody was all up in everybody's business, and they would use any information they could to make not only your life he'll but your extended family's as well. I learned...
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    Sexual dysfunction in a new relationship (warning, sexual content here)

    She has a right to her safe sex protocols even if you don't like them. Even if you think you are safe. In my relationships, condom use is mandatory and it does not change with the length of the relationship, ED problems, or how important the partner is. If you were in a relationship with my...
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    Sexual dysfunction in a new relationship (warning, sexual content here)

    If you are willing to have him break agreements, then you are moving from poly to cheating. If he is willing to break agreements with her, he will do the same to you. There is no guarantee that the person he breaks the agreements with next time will be safe. However, there will be a next time...
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