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In an ideal world then yes, I would agree. Wish it were as simple as the kids just not having the latest console, or fewer holidays. I've thought through every possible outcome over and over for months, hoping to find some way to make any of this work. There is no likely scenario where me...

Thank you, it's not gonna be easy, but who ever said life was easy? Just gotta deal with it. We can't all have everything we want in life, right?

Thanks all. Sadly there are no "good" options in all of this, only "least bad", and the least bad option has to be the one that hurts the fewest people. Icesong, I *do* get what you are saying about regrets and what example I set, but I don't see that the example of having them grow up...

Hey, I just wanted to say thank you to those who replied - I have read, and thought, and read and thought some more about how I can best proceed. I have reached the conclusion that I cannot take the risk of doing anything other than keeping this to myself. The risks involved in discussing...

I really wish I felt that I could *come clean* as it were, as I hate this lying by omission, but if I reveal the truth I feel so scared that I will just hurt so many people.

Hey, Thanks for taking time out to reply to me, it means a lot just to have someone 'listen' as it were. Apologies if my rambling stream of consciousness is hard to follow, or if I miss things. I have thought so much on this over so long, but thinking won't change anything. Galagirl - thank...

HI, not sure what I'm thinking posting - I'm a 38 year old cis het male. In mono relationship for 20 years, married for 13 of those. 2 kids 10 and 5. Is this just the pathetic male "mid life crisis" that everyone knows about (I have basically been told that already by someone)? I met my wife...