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Another update of sorts. Having shifted my perspective, I can see logically why I reacted the way I did, but now seeing this through a different lens I’m struggling with the guilt of my actions as they are invalid through the updated lens. (I hope this makes sense). My partner and I are working...

Thanks for the follow up. Abby is not seeing J&J again. There is too much history there and the juice isn’t worth the squeeze. She and I are going to examine our growth together as well as re-evaluate our expectations and agreements to be sure they are necessary and realistic. We are seeing our...

Thank you for hanging in there with me.:). My reply below to Mag explains a bit more. But I wanted to thank you for replying and giving your time to help me with my issue.

Magdlyn, To be honest, there were factors that I didn’t share because at the time they didn’t seem relevant. 1. The couple was predatory (in the unicorn hunting way) and I had been vocal with her about my worries. The male had seemed to be controlling the situation and had bypassed an agreement...

This was my instinct and we are already moving that direction. Thank you for your response.

Thanks again for engaging me where I am. She is dealing with consequences, and is 100% taking responsibility. I’m doing my best to deal with my emotions so we can heal and so I don’t make thing’s toxic.

Thank you for actually engaging my actual post.:). She’s crushed, she understands that she broke my trust and is taking full responsibility. The hard part for me is that we’ve been together for 8 years and I’ve never had any reason not to trust her until she met this couple. There are a lot of...

Thank you! This was what I was needing to hear. Thank you for engaging me where I am at the moment!

I don’t disagree with you that absolute statements are foolish…..I was emotional at the time. I am going to push back on the “rule” needs to go. The boundaries aren’t mine….they are HERS (I was obviously unclear on this). The communication prior to a date regarding sex being on the table…..She...

I think you missed the point. These were HER boundaries….not mine…..she set them, we agreed to them, and then she violated them, and then lied about it. But thanks for the sensitive reply. I came here looking for constructive advice on how to get past a betrayal of trust not a snarky “ur rule...

So my partner recently violated two major boundaries in our relationship. 1. We always set an expectation before a date if we’ve never been intimate with the meta and agree to communicate this as necessary with the meta. A. Sex is on the table for this date B. Sex is not on the table for this...

You've given me a lot to consider and tbh I am finding most (if not all) of it helpful. Everything you've stated feels right and aligns with what I already know. Thank you, C

THANK YOU for your post! I am both overwhelmed and grateful by reading your post. Overwhelmed by the sheer scope of what we are trying to do drawn out in black and white! I am also grateful for your plethora of information and perspective. I think I am going to share this forum with my...

Thank you for wording this very carefully and clearly! The most complicated part is that we are all bisexual and encouraging individual relationships will be exponentially more complicated as we will each be adding two secondary relationships initially...........I think I am most concerned with...

I completely agree that we have to find a more realistic way to communicate soon. I also understand that moving past this without all parties feeling comfortable with this brings its own problems. I don't like the idea of removing a rule "because someone will break it" but I understand also...

I agree that we will have to evolve past the communication limitations. Considering we came to this through swinger land these are boundaries that we all had in place and agreed on early. The communication was set simply to keep everything in the open, not as a lack of trust. In retrospect, I...

Thank you for engaging and for the input. I feel like this is a really good best practice!

So to be clear, while I understand that any poly-amorous relationship will have challenges, I am posting here to engage in conversation reference our relationship. Is there anything you can contribute other than anecdotal declarations? For example, look at the following: This may actually be...

Thanks.........I guess? You did read the word "current"? I'm sure any adult would understand that things evolve?

So several months ago my wife and I (married 5 years) decided we were ready to pursue ENM together (something we had been desiring since we were dating). We approached it from the "swinging" perspective expecting that we would find NSA sexual experiences more comfortable. Eventually, we met...