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this is the end I feel like I have come to the end of this blog. I feel less inclined to share my story after being censored and told what I can and can’t write about here. Everything is so interconnected. I can’t faithfully tell my story without going back to my marriage and previous...

Simple What a lovely weekend. I’m on a reduced work schedule, so it all started on Thursday night with a visit from an old pal from the big city. We hung out and talked and shared life stories and perspectives, which is so great with an old friend that has known me for 20 years. Having my own...

coaster I’ve been struggling a bit lately, on a bit of a regressive emotional bent. Got to pull all that emotional scar tissue apart to promote the healing. Work in progress. Distracted at work, I made a couple of small blunders, and wasn’t on top of someone else’s. I need to clear some fog...

polyinpractice - I agree, it would be selfish. I think its Brave to confront ones fears in such a public , challenging way. I can't think of a harder way to do Poly, opening a marriage that was once mono.

I agree on the setting up time/space boundaries, and preparing yourself for any possible NRE behaviours, like texting all the time. It can be a pretty emotional rollercoaster watching your SO get infatuated with someone. Try and create space for the two of you to have meaningful time together...

Heat Wave It’s a full blown heat wave. It’s been full on 32C for the past week. Working in it is like taking a 8-hour hot yoga class. Grueling. Things are supposed to cool off over the weekend, I hope. Just have to get through the next 3 days, but I’ll gut it out. We are framing a three story...

Monday musing Monday morning. I could sure use a long weekend right about now. Actually, I could use a couple of weeks off, rest up, let things settle. Instead I have made a compromise to only work 3 out of 4 Saturdays in any given month. My partner at work is taking a couple of weeks off this...

one-two Finality came today. The first move in a one-two punch representing the end of an era in my life. I’ll be twice divorced within the next month. Am I allowed to mention that? Edit, edit, cnrl+alt+del. My settlement came through and I’ll be able to pay off some debt. Whoopie!!! I have...

Sunday morning Sunday morning. I’m up early having a coffee. Raven is snuggled in bed. I remember she likes to sleep in a bit. I’m being careful not to wake her. I will get some thoughts out early and enjoy the day. She’s only here until tonight. This has been a quick visit. It has been...

closer to closure This week I signed off on the last two legal responsibilities that I had in regards to Cinder and I’s settlement. It brought up a lot of emotions for me. I dipped down into the blackness for an evening before the week went on. I had some good work days, and some good...

Interesting story. Kind of highlights a lot of the problems couples who are new to open relationships face. I agree with the above comments that your requests around rules ect where unreasonable. Changing the rules at the last minute as well is a complete recipe for disaster. Sounds like a lot...

Mental health day Ack. I’m taking a mental health day from work today. My feelings of being run down have come to a bit of a head, and I am feeling an overwhelming need to rest, think, and feel. I have uncovered a well-spring of grief and regret inside myself, and sifting through it is indeed...

Welcome to where the rubber hits the road my friend. Ideals vs Reality. It is indeed a sobering wake up call. The pain and judgement you are feeling is completely normal, the human condition in my opinion. I would have to agree that what would suit your "ideals" as stated above would be the NSA...

endgame Finally heard back from Cinder around the finalising of our separation agreement/divorce. It's been such a long time coming I am not convinced that this will be any different from all the other promises she has made around completion, but we'll see. Her email was very detailed, so that...

Do I ever relate to that feeling of trepidation re-engaging into the triad again after a spectacular failure. Go slow and watch for the same signs/dynamics that where present before and maybe you guys can head anything off that comes up. It takes a certain kind of humility and openness to let...

Here comes the rain again I was woken up last night by a downpour, big fat rain drops that at first splattered heavily against the windows, followed by a deluge so loud that the building seemed to shake. So nice and cool this morning after a few days of heat and humidity. I love the cool nights...

Sunday morning Sunday morning, my only full day off lately. But it is mine to relax with and spend in rest and recovery. There are no renovations to do, no long list of things to do, improvements or expectations. I am enjoying this side of singledom. I always thought I wouldn’t, but in the...

It seems so crazy to me that we have to turn our backs on people, that we can't be friends after sharing so much love and life together. I get pretty incredulous about it sometimes. But I guess some people just can't handle all the feelings. I never understood the all or nothing mentality. But...

first world problems Black Magic – thanks for your kind words. I try to get to my truth on here. I’m not looking to throw up a front. Yeah that knife of separation is a good anomaly. Now if I could just get this machete out of my back… LOL Things are getting a little crunchy financially. I...

Never forever I am forgetting what my life use to be like. The priorities, the problems, the pressure, the processing. I am forgetting what it is like to be in partnership with someone. To feel so committed to someone, bonded to them, making a life together, two into one. Having another’s...