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Hello, I'm trying to figure out if this is normal Poly behavior. I watched the season premier of Eureka this week, and was thoroughly annoyed by part of the storyline. One love interest is lost in space for four years and during that time the main protagonist falls in love with someone else...

I'm sorry for your situation. I have been in something similar for the last few weeks. I will tell you that my wife looked at the posts and forums and found them even more overwhelming. Since they run the full spectrum of poly experiences she had no idea what it was I was looking for. Some...

Thanks NovemberRain. I thought the same, and have tried the same. I don't think now is the time to discuss it. I offered to broach it in 3 months, 1 year, 3 years but she is adamant that this be finalized now. I've offered to wait as well, or drop the matter entirely but the cat is out of the...

Thank you Sneacail. It's been a busy few days. Things are changing every day. She has come back with the need for rules to define us, being that she always comes first. I've assured her of that but she doesn't think it's possible given what she has read on the fluidity of relationships from...

I wanted to post a followup. We are still dealing with emotionally raw issues, reading and working on Love Languages. I'm also reading Polyamory in the 21st Century to better understand her reaction and feelings from the case studies. There are a lot of issues from her past that she's shielded...

SNeacail, Thank you for articulating so eloquently what my wife has been unable to express. I appreciate the insight. The fact that there will be another year together is the important one, with many to follow. I can understand the feeling of betrayal no matter how many ways I try to justify...

Dingedheart, Thank you for the recommendation. I've found the book at a local library and will pick it up tonight. Your suggestion is a good one. Thank you for the advice.

I agree with you on the reason for therapy but you are correct on her impression. Her plan - ignore the issue and try to avoid it. My plan - try to salvage our marriage and ignore my feelings. It's either that or cheat. Neither reaction is mature and both are destructive to our relationship.

Thank you DingedHeart. She was blindsided for certain. We discussed therapy last night. She has a psych background and isn't open to the idea. For her any attempts to resolve this difference means that she will lose me despite my assurances to the contrary. That's what got her spiraling on...

Thank you for your compassionate words. I felt much better knowing I would tell her. It was a great relief to tell her who I was and plan to move forward growing closer and knowing she could love me without deception. She feels that she already is less important than anyone else because it was...

Welcome Ash. I'm new myself but I'm amazed at all of the information available. Good luck to you and I hope you find what you are looking for.

I've been a lurker on these pages for a while and wanted to thank you all for sharing your stories and ideas. I don't think I will be here long as I see this is not an option for me if I want to be with my wife, but your words have given me a view into accepting who I am, what I am and the...