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I can speak up as someone with some experience and success on this count. At present I am married to my best friend of nearly 25 years (married nearly 15), so well aligned, and a bit over a year ago we added a friend of ten years who approached us both in a way that surprised us all but that...

Way back to reply to the OP's question: I prefer things simple and stoical. So when I confront issues, situations, or people that/who arouse in me emotion, self-doubt, questioning, back-and-forthing, and similar feelings, I know that it's my own inner magnetized needle wobbling and spinning...

With all due respect, my people were marrying many millennia before the Catholic church ever emerged. And it had to do with a statement of human, not supernatural, commitment within a tribe. Kindly do not pass judgment on all others using recently invented things such as "Catholic sacraments."...

I have a zero tolerance rule on this, and so does my H. Many years ago he tolerated someone trashing me, being conflict avoidant just as you say. He hated it, but didn't set firm boundaries about what kinds of communication were and weren't acceptable. He realized much too late what he'd...

The term I have heard, and prefer, is "couple cracker." It's not limited to polyamory; it relates to anyone who sees the love between two people (no matter how many people they are each involved with) and horns in with inappropriate demands deriving from their acquisition lust and desire to nail...

My question is, what's in it for you to be able to judge a person as "truly" polyamorous or not? In my experience, polyamory is about people figuring out how to interact with others, openly, and with negotiated boundaries, and the confidence that potholes, speedbumps, and bomb craters will be...

I don't see how it's "unfair" to ask for what you need. Or maybe it's "unfair," but love is "unfair." Your boyfriend should, I'd think, want to introduce and conduct his polyrelationships in a way that ease you into all needed transitions. Sometimes those transitions involve having to cope...

Invi, I felt a sense of warmth reading your original posting because it is a fascinating topic for me as well--triggers, what they're about, and how to work through and with them. With my partners, my own triggers (as well as theirs) have formed some of the most tender, deep, complex moments...

Any man who treats a wife better based on her putting on a mask of happiness is one I would have kicked to the curb a long time ago. After tightly sealing the lawn n leaf bag. Your husband is failing you and your and his children IMO. He is bearing down to pursue a footloose existence centered...

So many red flags here, jenzen, I hardly know where to start. I very much respect your desire not to be exploited. With all due respect, that's what I read in your messages, bearing in mind that you couldn't possibly have written down everything in all its context. Who has the largest salary...

What Ciel said last. Polyamory is based on love. If your brother thinks love is immoral--particularly not having experienced a loving relationship--there's nothing you can say to him. You can only be who you are and hope he grows the hell up. It reads to me as though he is regarding you...

And why should you? Why is this a problem? I mean, if you all have the agreement that your sexual narrative is "he ejaculates each session," then, OK, it's a problem. But what's wrong with, say, sharing pleasure that leads you to other types of pleasure? Is the problem in your mind? Or your...

Well, I'm bi and so is my husband/partner of 20+ years. So I have no problems nor fetishes around men being together...or not. It's about the people involved, not the configuration of genitals. My husband and I are working out how to proceed with our third, who is a man who never considered an...

Nice thread. I like OLD relationship energy because OLD is a word that needs to be reclaimed as something wonderful. In my 20+ year relationship--to which our third was added just early this year--we have so many wonderful skeezy moments. Like when we have quiet time, and he rubs my feet, and...

I am totally in alignment with this. My beloveds are both brilliant in the language of hauling interesting things home to the nest. Sometimes they cost very little, or nothing at all, but show that they were thinking of me, of us, of our mutual enjoyment, or of fun that those gifts will make...

This assumes that everyone has a desire pattern such as--apparently--yours is. I've known many people--and was one for 15 years--who never looked at another person besides their partner and was as happy with that as I was at other times when I had intimate connections with other people. I will...

If they'll cheat on others, they'll eventually cheat on you. The corollary there is, if you accept them cheating on others, or on you,...then don't call me at 2 in the morning with a tale of woe about all that when it snakes around and fangs your glutes. I prefer my relationships like whiskey...

In my view, triads represent no fewer than seven relationships, for in addition to each couple's relationship with each other, there is the triad's relationship...and then each individual's relationship with their own heart and mind. Ignea, IME this is a good example of "one of those life...

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "Lady, I swear, but that is the ugliest baby that I've ever seen." Shocked by his statement the woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down. The man in the seat next to her sees that she is fuming mad and ask her what is wrong...

Vote here for The Roches... ...also XTC's Green Man. Not a poly song per se, but it touches on all the kinds of love a primal, passionate archetype can raise and stroke in us: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NxDslRv6Mvk It's also just a gorgeous song to hold your beloveds close and move...