Search results

  1. PolyLinguist

    New to poly, in beautiful Vancouver BC

    Hello Polynew. Why not you indeed. There isn't much about you in your profile, so maybe you would like to elaborate a bit on what kinds of things you like, what your major interests are, and what you might be looking for in a poly relationship. I myself live in Vancouver. You can find my age...
  2. PolyLinguist

    Sharing the Holidays

    I quite agree on the first part. Indeed, we are all lonely at times. It is not even a bad thing. I am solidly married, but at times have travelled alone for business and other reasons, and there is a special bittersweet feeling to spend some time on my own, in a foreign place, with no-one to...
  3. PolyLinguist

    Sharing the Holidays

    OK, OK, let's lower the tone. I am sorry if I offended anyone, and I agree that I made assumptions I shouldn't have. It is clear that non-hierarchical polyamory is not for me. It simply couldn't work unless I downgraded my present relationships (not only with my wife but also with my children)...
  4. PolyLinguist

    Sharing the Holidays

    If she is not poly, and does not want to "suffer" from time-sharing issues, why did she enter a relationship with someone already attached? Oh, I get it, it was love and she couldn't help it. You know, it's not as if such things haven't happened to me. I was once desperately in love with someone...
  5. PolyLinguist

    Sharing the Holidays

    As usual, I have a different take on things. The problem, in my view, is not being poly, or not being good at time management. It is the unfortunate tendency to base everything on momentary feelings, on the lack of willingness to make one's priorities clear, and on catering to every whim of...
  6. PolyLinguist

    Input needed on crowdsourced article about couple privilege & polyamory

    Ha! We would have a lot of fun arguing these things out, if we didn't draw blood first. A mistress, in traditional terms is a female partner of a man he is not married to (or equivalent to marriage, these days), and to whose living expenses he contributes in a significant way. There must be a...
  7. PolyLinguist

    Input needed on crowdsourced article about couple privilege & polyamory

    Your reply is great for me, for it allows me some insight into the kinds of domestic arrangements that poly people have. Obviously there are other kinds of domestic arrangements too, but people rarely seem to speak about such mundane things. Now, someone moving into my household as a third...
  8. PolyLinguist

    Input needed on crowdsourced article about couple privilege & polyamory

    Which is why it's so interesting, and so important for me, to be on this board. I get to discover lives very different from mine. I come from a long line of "couple-oriented" people, this is how my marriage has turned out to be as well, and this is how most of my friends (and virtually all my...
  9. PolyLinguist

    Input needed on crowdsourced article about couple privilege & polyamory

    It makes a lot of sense, thanks. As for the inevitability of hierarchical situations, in my opinion they are almost certain to happen if one of the participants in a new polyamorous relationship already has a long-standing relationship with someone else. Pretty much the only way to make it...
  10. PolyLinguist

    Input needed on crowdsourced article about couple privilege & polyamory

    Thank you, nycindie, and I am sorry if I misinterpreted you. It can happen to the best of us... (Not that I am among the best, I am sure). In fact, I can see another aspect of why this attitude can be irritating. Suppose I was interested in someone (in the poly world, obviously), and that...
  11. PolyLinguist

    Input needed on crowdsourced article about couple privilege & polyamory

    Interesting discussion. Thanks to AggieSez for starting it. I learned more about peoples’ attitudes to married people getting into polyamory than from any other source I have seen. Still, I have questions and comments about some concepts raised: The concept of harm, as in: Harmful to whom...
  12. PolyLinguist

    Input needed on crowdsourced article about couple privilege & polyamory

    I like surveys of this kind. Let me try to answer the questions, as honestly and clearly as I can: Most certainly. Anyone part of a couple who wants to take on a poly relationship without believing that such privileges exist will be un-coupled in short order. As for defining it, it is easy...
  13. PolyLinguist

    Mono is a feature not a bug

    Thank you WhatHappened for your kind words, and for not misinterpreting what I am trying to say. And you clearly understand what marriage is about, even if we take out the absolute fidelity provisions from it.
  14. PolyLinguist

    Mono is a feature not a bug

    And where exactly did I say that this is what I think most people want? I never said that - I said that in this particular case, which I used as an example, talking about it would not have had any beneficial effects. Beneficial for whom? For me? No, I didn't feel the need to talk, I can be quite...
  15. PolyLinguist

    Mono is a feature not a bug

    I don't quite agree. In my experience, friendships are easy-going relationships whose expectations need no discussion. If I live in the same city as a friend, we get in touch with each other once or twice a month, we get together for coffee or a meal, we go for a walk, we talk. If I am in...
  16. PolyLinguist

    Mono is a feature not a bug

    Well, thank you at least for taking me seriously, and not calling me names. On "baubles", I get the impression that it's the word you object to. I am sorry, let me call it "jewelry". Is that better? Is it against PC thought to point out that, by and large, women like and wear jewelry more than...
  17. PolyLinguist

    Mono is a feature not a bug

    Rory, this is not why I said this, and I am sorry if I offended you. Remember, A issued the invitation first. If he wasn't interested, he wouldn't have called. B can call too. Then A can play hot and cold, if he wants to. And no, you never owe some one sex, ever. But if this is a sexual...
  18. PolyLinguist

    Mono is a feature not a bug

    OK guys, so I have definitely learned something thanks to you. Lots of women want what I thought it was mostly men who wanted it, and vice versa. Thank you. I don't think this will make much difference to my dating approach, though. I approach pretty much everyone in the same manner. Hello, my...
  19. PolyLinguist

    Mono is a feature not a bug

    OK, you win. Personally, I don't give a hoot about gifts, anniversaries and the like. I have to force myself to think of them for others, and I note the pleasure a gift can give them.
  20. PolyLinguist

    Mono is a feature not a bug

    No, I don't think all women expect such things, although (I think) most women like receiving such gifts - and why not, to the right person I don't mind giving gifts that give them pleasure, as long as I don't bankrupt myself doing so. But this is a difference, you must admit - men on the whole...
Back
Top