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I was wondering where I remembered the name Sackville from, then realized it was The Hobbit/LOTR ;-)

Have you been okay with your gf being with girls that are only interested in her, not in being shared, or is it that so far you've been okay with shared sexual experiences, not separate relationships?

Not so much casual sex as casual cuddling/make outs. Soft swinging could fit as a term, but for me it simply means I have friends I'm very affectionate with but am not trying to develop much beyond friendship with. I have two partners I have sex with but still enjoy kissing/curling up with...

Why not? It sounds like so far you've gone along with how your wife wants things, with her beginning the opening up process, and now she's at a point where she's satisfied with how things are for herself, but things aren't yet working so well for you. Does she want to make her current job into...

If it makes you feel better, I don't see OSOs as automatically enhancing primary relationships at all, rather that if there is another relationship the couple within the primary relationship had better be putting a lot of work into their own relationship if they want things to last between each...

The audio portion is available at the link now.

Was this part clear to Undine from the beginning of your relationship with Tiara? I wonder if Undine was ok with things happening online in part because she felt secure that sex in real life wasn't an option between you and Tiara.

Just wanted to share a happy experience from this weekend: My wife Ginko and I were moving apartments and it helped so much to have our poly family there. My girlfriend, my wife's boyfriend, and several of our close poly friends stayed around for nearly 8 hours packing, moving, and cleaning...

*hugs* I'm mostly going by the limited experiences of my wife, friends (mostly in their 20s/30s as you mention), and my mom who is in her mid 50s. It's funny being at my mom's house and hearing her computer ping every ~30 minutes as she gets a message. Maybe she should write a book ;-) She's...

I found that many people I ended up going out with took several weeks to respond at first. I'd often nearly forgotten about them by the time I heard back. Women (and gay/bi men) can get quite a backlog of messages. When I was looking for people on OKC and about to close my account due to...

I'm not currently looking for any new partners, but when I was I had an OKC profile where I mentioned my relationship structure in the first paragraph and linked to my wife's profile. Whenever I messaged anyone I again outlined where I was at regarding relationships. I wanted to weed people out...

Has she told you this herself, or is this Dan's story? It seems that he acts serious with whoever he's with at the moment, while reassuring them he's not serious with anyone else! :unsure::cautious:

My parents never expected me to not be a sexual being. Instead they made a point of educating me and making sure I was safe. I hit puberty early and my mom made sure I had condoms, even though I personally chose to not have vaginal intercourse until much later, because I didn't want to risk...

As others have said, it sounds like she did just as you requested. You two had talked about the possibility before the party and you said just to let you know if something happens, which she did. I actually see more of a possibility of your wife being bothered by your actions if you asked her...

Thanks for the clarification, all of that sounds much better. As for meeting people, I'd do a combination of seeking out people on okcupid, local poly meetups if you can make it to any (though socializing is often the more immediate goal than dating there), and simply going out and doing...

Your interpretation makes me think I may have totally misread the OP's statement. I read "She is out and about, but seems completely uninterested in engaging in couples activities. So I'm feeling on my own" as meaning she wasn't interested in going out with the OP to do things, maintaining their...

If she's not into couples activities and you're home with the cats while she's out doing things, what relationship do you two have? What do you do to remain connected? This would be an issue whether polyamory were in the picture or not. Hopefully the issue of her wanting to see someone else...

Some poly people stop dating and the transition from dating to being friends is so subtle outsiders may not even notice the difference, while others in their breakups cause explosions that tear apart social circles of dozens of people, as with so many people dating each other if two have a bad...

I've seen that happen with a fair number of married couples that thought they were happy going into polyamory, then find upon dating others that they were ready to move on, on good terms or otherwise. It's important that couples do what they can to continue strengthening their relationship with...

Are you familiar with conventions like Dragon Con in Atlanta? Or Burning Man? Circus arts like aerial dance, fire spinning, poi, drum circles, etc? Oh, and lots of computer programmers and tabletop gamers.