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This issue has very little to do with poly/mono and everything to do with her self esteem. I'm fairly sure of it because I feel the same way, but I can prove it to you because her feeling like she doesn't deserve you and isn't enough predates your admission of poly, right? It wasn't you saying...

I think Oona sees herself as your caretaker in a very exaggerated way. I don't recall if you've posted much about your history with her so I'm not sure what your relationship was like in the past. In some of your prior arguments with her, she sounds personally threatened by Rider's increasing...

Yeah I checked on the domestic partnership in Washington and neither partner can be married to another person.

I'm going to predict that no one is going to have a good answer for this but here is why I wouldn't do it. The plan can allow you to cover domestic partners that is a question for his plan administrator BUT technically you're supposed to be a registered domestic partnership that is filed with...

Personally I think it's a little weird that he suddenly had a date exactly a week after telling you it "wasn't a right now" thing. I think a number of mixed messages he's given you are concerning. Like when he kept saying he wasn't looking to date before but was constantly tweaking his dating...

I was having difficulty understanding why you and her making different assumptions is cause for either of you to be weirded out. Once again Rider made the mistake of not communicating the plans he made with you with Kelly. If I put myself in her position I would think: If a group of people is...

Would you be willing to share some of these?

well I guess I'm going to close this down. One of my partners is feeling less comfortable with me writing online than we had previously discussed. He didn't ask me not to but I know he'd prefer it wasn't all out here so I'd rather not bother him. I've never taken advantage of this outlet as...

ugh! I'm not doing ok

cont ... and I was right about not seeing Jasper until February, and that's looking questionable too. We usually get together on MLK weekend but this year he had a playoff game he needed to be at. Now he is taking another full week trip without me in February so I'm feeling lousy about his...

Hate to say I told you so... On the 8th, just when we were starting to imagine a day when life might start going back to normal we got the call that Herman would be having surgery at 1pm the next day. He was very upset about it for a few hours, I thought he should have been expecting this, I...

Seems pretty simple You're the one who is uncomfortable with the risk, it's up to you to protect yourself and insist that condoms are used with you at this uncomfortable level of risk. If he is uncomfortable with the risk, its up to him who he decides to use condoms with. If he decided he would...

Happy New Year As I had already guessed, Herman was not scheduled for surgery on the 30th. The new surgeon didn't seem to think much more could be done for him. He ordered more scans. So I am guessing he'll decide sometime this week he does want to do surgery and we'll be behind 3 or 4 weeks of...

Pity Party Every Christmas seems a little more depressing to me but this one takes the cake. I want a place to throw a pity party for myself and I don't have anywhere else to say anything so awful, so here it is. 2 weeks ago I found my husband laying in the back yard surrounded in blood and...

I'm so sorry Bluebird. With "unconditional family love" like that who needs enemies huh? My favorite part was that your mom thought it was so awful she had to tell everyone she knows immediately. I would have told her, well you raised me so really this is your fault and the whole family knows...

Could not agree more! I can't follow the initials even with a key in the signature. You know who those people are and can picture them when you're writing but to me they are a letter and they all look the same!

Resolution Make better decisions for myself, by myself.

Maybe Marriage Isn't For Me Recently I clicked on this article titled "Marriage Isn't For Me" the teaser below it said something like "but wait, keep reading, it's not as bad as you think!" as if someone deciding they didn't want marriage had resulted in shock and horror. The article was even...

I see two problems here. One of them is it seems some of these people are less naive about poly then they are about the internet. If you go online and put your personal situation out there people are going to give their opinion. That's how it works. You're going to get opinions. If there is...

Updates on myself later I suppose Wow things have changed around here, people leaving, relationships collapsing, long time polys going mono, people putting relationships on hold completely. One of the reasons I joined the forum was because it was so great to see it working for someone! Its...