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True.... I agree...he does need to get over this. He says that he feels that the whole reason behind his idea - 2 wives and him is so that each of us women can fulfill each other as far as having someone to spend time with - watch movies, talk, hang out - etc all the things HE does NOT want...

True... I am slowly realizing that this whole lifestyle was his way of living out his fantasies... Personally I hadn't thought about this life style at all when we first got together. But then after seeing what could happen and having someone else in my life I realized - hey this is pretty...

Hi Papillon: Welcome Back! :) I look forward to reading your blog! :)

I think you need to talk seriously to your wife...Maybe Poly is not for you....I know all the feelings that you are going through - and I too have been hurt many many times and had my boundaries crossed many times by my husband....it is the nature of the beast i think. Perhaps working on it...

Thank you Snowmelt - I think you are absolutely correct and I feel in my heart that I need to sort through all of this in my life.

Yes we are putting the poly on hold tho the girl is in and out of the picture. She wants to be friends with me - my husband called it all off with her. I am glad to be getting all of this advise. It is strange how in my 30's this is how my life is turning out - I have a husband who acts...

Avatar... This is the first time this has happened to us. And he actually had liked her for a long time - he would point her out to me when we would be out - prior to discussing having a poly style relationship - then when he went out alone - he got her phone number - texted/talked etc. Told...

input... Thank you for the input - I think that this whole "experience" has made me feel more of an object to him rather than a person who has feelings and needs as well. We have been together for 13 years - i never really dated before meeting him as I was just 19 years old so I have more or...

Discussions I have been finding it difficult for me to communicate with my spouse. He has it in his head that he only wants to include another female. The last one we got involved with was straight - hence my thinking perhaps I should be allowed to have a "friend" of my own since he obviously...

One Penis Policy :)

Okay - so apparently my husband has instituted a OPP - is this fair? At first I was okay with this arrangement but now that I see that he has no problems with other women and I have no problems with other women - why can't I have another guy then? My hubs is very jealous - very double...

I hope so - I wouldn't mind each of us having a separate girlfriend then each of us can feel complete with someone else instead of just him having a friend and me being left out in the dust. I think only time will tell what we should do.

Natural It sounds like you have a lot of pressure on you - being more or less in the middle of this triangle. I do hope that you can make this work - and I feel it is extremely important that both women get along at some point - this would make it a lot easier for you as well as them. This...

wondering Well we have called it quits on finding our "unicorn" as we realize that things must develop naturally and not be forced. I guess my hope is that we can compromise on some things in our own relationship that would help us in the future. I would like for the Triad to work out so...

married Perhaps if you give your wife some additional attention she may come around? Also, have your lover and wife met? Do you think they could be friends? Maybe if the two of them forge a bond or friendship this may put your wives' mind at ease. I know it seems strange - but I am in your...

It's hard I am married as well - my husband brought into our relationship a straight female - i am bi - and was rejected by her. It is difficult to see your spouse being pleased emotionally intellectually sexually by someone else - it is painful to stand by and often feel like am I not good...

hmmm That is a good question -- I say life is short - enjoy it while you can. It can be very tricky....let your heart guide you :)

Used Yes it is a learning lesson - and a powerful one at that. I care too much about other people and often allow myself to be put last...which is my fault. All I want to do is love and take care of my family and was really hoping the could be reciprocated. And yes I feel very used - like...

Thank you I think yes we all ended up getting hurt. But too I think that we were mislead by her. We were up front and open about what we were looking for - and she went along with it and we were given false hope. And then when she started just wanting to be around my husband that is when it...