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I think that's a very good example of support and good advice. Thanks Kevin.

oh and tomorrow is couples' night. we wouldn't be going if single guys were.

Thanks wolf. Actually we've lurked on sls for quite some time now. Getting out there & meeting women is a real challenge in a life as structured as mine, but like I said, I don't burn for that right now anyway. I'll do as she suggests and stay open to the possibilities. But I'm still appalled at...

The safe sex business seems settled. Early this week I was in a sorry state, really torn up with feelings of betrayal and humiliation. Tuesday was a long day of cathartic confrontation (by Gmail IM, our principal means of communication! since we work opposite shifts), and I was feeling much...

dingedheart, thanks for this sensible advice.

Opalescent, I'm afraid pain and worry already abounds, but thank you for this excellent info. By the way... and I'm starting to feel guilty doing all this on the Introductions board, maybe should move to another?... anybody have a condom they find really nice, for both partners?

November, I suppose I should clarify, they weren't insisting on bareback with untested people; she said he agreed to be tested. I've always thought testing doesn't equal safe sex, but maybe I'm behind the times. Then again, never mind STDs -- she's not on the pill!

LR, what a great reply. I just messaged this quote to my wife. Ah, nothing like knowing you yourself aren't shallow when you look at other people, and you can love them inspite of all of their flaws, but using that shallow mirror on yourself. So many of us women do that.

Thin can be sexy, but I prefer voluptuous.

November, yes, she was dishonest in this case, but I'm with her 22 years and I really do think she's a more honest person than most people, including me. And yes, while you were too kind to point it out, if I hadn't read her private messages, I may never have known she had unprotected sex. We've...

Hi everyone. My wife is in a relationship with another guy. I've always considered myself very liberal and free-thinking about sex & relationships, but I'm wrestling with this. It might have started more smoothly if my wife had been honest -- she brought up "seeing other people" after the...