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Sad, sad update... After three weeks of difficult discussions, passionate arguments, lots of lovemaking and compassion, my monogamous boyfriend and I have made the decision to transition from lovers to friends. He decided to read up on poly, understood that parameters could be negotiated...

Would make a great film... A few updates and again, thanks for the support and friendship that has emerged as a result of this post. Sometimes poly life is oddly lonely for those of us deeply closeted. Especially for my bf, who is deeply closeted and also monogamous and has to constantly deal...

I feel very grateful to have stumbled onto this thread after a very turbulent 72 hours in my current configuration that is struggling to become a V (I think). My ideal: Me, my husband, my boyfriend, my husband's girlfriend, and her other boyfriend (yikes) all living together, maybe in the same...

Thanks for this article! I am forwarding it to by mono boyfriend who is struggling right now...because this article says perfectly what I have been trying to say to him about how I want him to feel in our relationship. My husband and I read this article out loud together yesterday and agreed...

Updates Thanks so much for the amazing support. I have had a very emotionally turbulent 72 hours, but the GOOD news is that my boyfriend and I are still together, love one another more now than before, and understand each other's suffering more than before. I love my husband more than before...

I have so much gratitude for these responses. I will be talking with the bf this evening, and my approach is going to be radically different based on what you all have said. It has definitely helped me find a place of true compassion and love over licking my own wounds. Many thanks.

I recently had a very difficult emotional conversation with my monogomous boyfriend. I am married and my husband and I have been practicing polyamory for about 5 months, I started dating shortly after that time. The relationship has been very beautiful, and I have deep compassion with what...

My relationship with my spouse has always been so open, loving, respectful, that after 17 years of relationship I've had little reason to think of deal-breakers. My relationship with my boyfriend is also natural and positive. My husband's relationship with his girlfriend is also quite...

Thanks for all of your kind words. After I slept on it, I decided to practice love, acceptance, and compassion. My sister is scared for me (although has no reason to be) and feeling guilt and shame herself for her own affairs. There is likely envy too, since she skulks around to have other...

I had a very painful conversation with my sister last night. She is visiting from LA, and we were "accidentally outed" by a text message from my husband's girlfriend. She texted and my sister grabbed the phone and read the message and wanted an explanation. My husband and I have discussed...

Offline for a few days with the holidays and very fun discussion! Thought to clarify some attachment related points. First, attachment theory in adults is a thorough field of study, only by other authors (eg Allen Schore, Dale Fonagey, Dan Siegel, and others) although it is not a universal...

If I might, I want to brag about my fantastic poly husband (and we are only initates...) I was complaining that my boyfriend has no coffee maker because he doesn't drink coffee, and therefore I have caffeine withdrawals om my overnights. So...Macbeth bought me a lovely french coffee press to...

Speak up on the differences between healthy and dysfunctional dependence, please. Oh, lots to be said. I suppose it can be summed up in the difference, discussed by Ainsworth and others, between "secure attachment," and "anxious attachment" and "dismissive" attachment styles, as well as...

Being really into attachment theory, I have to add that a guy named John Bolby followed my Mary Ainsworth and others (Heinz Kohut, on and on) have written reams about how attachment is an intrinsic need...and their work has fundamentally impacted how I view love and the concept of "neediness."...

Thanks for the comments folks! One clarification, I have no intention of coming out during a holiday celebration (yikes), I only fantasize about having it over with and being able to just hang out without hiding anything...maybe someday. Best to all, whatever holiday is being celebrated...and...

Updates This past Wednesday we had what my monogamous boyfriend has humorously called, "poly summit #2." I sat down with my husband, his gf J, and her bf B2 as he has been called. I absolutely committed myself to be open, objective, and to try to honestly hear his point of view. It went...

Macbeth and I started our poly negotiations and parameters in the summer and after a great deal of effort came up with a great list of parameters, and both are involved with other primaries. Now come the holidays. Holidays have always been very important wonderful family times with all kinds...

Thanks all for your feedback. This was how I perceived the situation, but a trying to get a bit of space and objectivity. A couple more details. First, my husband, his girlfriend J, and the B2 met for several hours yesterday to talk things out. My husband was shocked to discover that after...

My husband Macbeth and I are relatively new to polyamoury and have found ourselves involved in some wonderful relationships and are in an "N" type situation. I have a boyfriend who is essentially monogomous, he has a girlfriend who is in a polyamorous relationship with her live in boyfriend. I...

My husband of 17 years, Macbeth, and I live in the Pacific Northwest. We began our venture into poly a few months ago. We have an 11 year old daughter. I am a mental health professional in private practice and my husband is an actor/stay at home dad. We are deeply in love and had been...