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    He's not poly??? A year into the relationship?

    After being with Darling for awhile. Dealing with his breakup with his other GF Chatty. His wife. Moving in with him. He tells me he doesn't think he is poly. That he "fell into" it. That is was easier than being mono at the time. Effectively we have been mono since he broke up with...
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    Lessons in Poly Family living- money

    I talked to Darling about the situation last night. He told his wife that he would be supporting me and the children months ago. At the time, she understood and was agreeable. She even agreed that I should pay my ex a large sum of money in order to finish my divorce, saying they would replace...
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    Lessons in Poly Family living- money

    I had quiet a chunk of money (an inheritance) and was comfortable. In order to get custody of my kids and to move them out of state I basically had to give it all to my ex. Yes, I had to buy off my ex husband. Darling told me to "drain your account" and I'll support you completely. I kept...
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    Lessons in Poly Family living- money

    We moved into the next door house, as a rental right now but Darling will be buying it. Now, it seems Everything I do is wrong. Ok, that's a bit of an overstatement but that is how I'm feeling. What I'm feeling is that I can't be me. Even though we split the houses, I feel like Darling's...
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    Blending two families into one household?

    They are in a platonic relationship and have been for years. She is comfortable with him living next door as opposed to in this house. She like having the separation. I know it seems odd but it is who she is. They know the owner of the house next door and think he will be open to a cash offer.
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    Blending two families into one household?

    Long talks with Darling about living arrangements. Long talks with his wife about the same. Long talks with the kids about their feelings. We came to a compromise. We are going to approach the owner of the house next door and see if we can buy it (a very good possibility). His wife and...
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    Blending two families into one household?

    Originally, we were going to stay here for a few weeks and then relocate to our own place then Darling decided he wanted us to stay here for good. He really didn't discuss that with either his wife or I. When he told her she was very surprised. I sat down and talked to her the next day. She...
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    Blending two families into one household?

    My two children and I moved into Darling's house with his wife and child. We are having adjustment issues. Darling would like us to all live together as a blended family. Even though his wife and I get along very well, it's like we aren't sure what our roles are now. It's one thing when your...
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    What to do when your partner is grieving the end of a relationship?

    Darling is still actively grieving his relationship with Chatty. He has started seeing a therapist, thank goodness. He still has terrible bouts of guilt, which sends him to hibernate in bed. He tells me he needs me to "just be here" for him. I have been in the middle of a custody battle...
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    What to do when your partner is grieving the end of a relationship?

    I've encouraged him to talk to a therapist because he needs someone outside the situation to talk with. I've encouraged him to keep busy. He goes to work, comes home and hibernates. Either going to sleep or just laying there in bed, doing nothing. Yes, it is very hard for me. I want to...
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    What to do when your partner is grieving the end of a relationship?

    Darling broke up with Chatty and it was not an easy break up. Chatty did not take it well and Darling has decided to not have contact with her (as described in my earlier post about BPD). He is very depressed now and keeps coming to me for reassurances that he is not an horrible person. Today...
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    Dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder in a Poly Relationship

    I agree. The use of her child to manipulate Darling is repulsive to me. Darling contacted Chatty's husband and let him know the situation. Darling is going "no contact" with her. It is necessary. There is no "let's be friends". I think he is realizing that now. It is painful for him and I...
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    Dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder in a Poly Relationship

    Well, it exploded tonight. Chatty texted me and told me that she was not going to let anyone get into her relationship with Darling. This is after he explictly told her they were not going to be romatically involved. Then she used her daughter as a pawn in all this. She inferred she would...
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    Dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder in a Poly Relationship

    I am ready. It's like preparing for war. Which is sad. Darling is oblivious to my concerns. I talked to him today and he thinks all is well. I don't think he really "gets it". She just texted me telling me she thinks we can "work it out". Work what out? I'm not part of their...
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    Dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder in a Poly Relationship

    Her BPD is diagnosed. She has been in therapy for years and has recently begun DBT. She is also medicated. We both know quite a bit about BPD (this relationship has made me do a lot of research). Darling seems to understand but holds out hope that she will not react negatively. I on the...
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    Dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder in a Poly Relationship

    Darling effectively broke up with Chatty. He realized that he had only started a relationship out of pity (her husband started seeing Darling's wife and Chatty was not dealing well) and then seeing her just became a habit. He really only wants to have her as a close friend. He loves Chatty...
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    Dealing with Borderline Personality Disorder in a Poly Relationship

    We are definitely in a V. Chatty (Darlings GF) throws temper tantrums when she perceives that Darling and I are getting "closer" then the two of them. I completely understand the description of the adult two year old. The biggest issue in our relationship is that she wants everything to be...
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    Came out to SO's family - Rejection

    Darling has been legally married once, to his current wife. This is the first time he has told his extended family about any relationship besides his legal marriage. This is the first time he has ever brought anyone to meet his extended family as a partner. He has not told them about Chatty...
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    Came out to SO's family - Rejection

    That's exactly what their relationship is like. If Darling could legally marry Chatty and I, then he would. Mostly for the contractual issues, like health insurance and inheritance rights.
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    Came out to SO's family - Rejection

    Darling and his wife are still legally married but no longer have an intimate relationship. They live in separate houses but are still finacially linked and co-parent. We see our engagement as a symbol of our committment to one another. If he decides that he wants to proceed with a divorce...
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