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I've recently been through a break up and my boyfriend Peaches helped me to deal with it. I was ABSOLUTELY devastaded. I'm sure Peaches had a hard time helping me with it, he confessed a lot of feelings on the line of "Am I not enough to keep her happy" and "How COULD that childish, selfish...

I feel atracted for more than one person at a time since I remember. I was taught by others that "if I love more than one, I love no one", though, and shunned myself for a long time. I had a lot of guilt feelings about this. When I began my relationship with Peaches we were mono. After a fews...

When Peaches first mentioned poly to me, I think I felt something similar. For me, though, the fear went away when I fell for someone else. I realised that me loving someone else didn't change my love for Peaches, not one bit. I couldn't really tell who I loved best. Each love was unique and...

Thanks a lot for the support, Jim. I'm trying to work on some kind of script to somewhat follow in a future (near future, I hope) conversation with CC about poly and our bondaries and all that. It's been chalenging. I know we have to talk about it, but I'm still very afraid of discussing...

Also, feels. Lots of 'em I've been away from this foruns - and anything poly - for a while. I missed it here, I missed reading the advices and sharing, reading about everyone's experiences and finding people who understood me. But I was in a very bad place for the last months. As my signature...

I felt like this a few years ago. I was already in a serious relationship with Peaches, but it was a mono relationship and I was just TERRIFIED of the poly feeling I had. I was afraid I'd lose him, hurt him and stay alone forever. Because it really DID seem to me that no one around me, in my...

Sincerely, with all my insecurities and doubts, I really didn't think I'd be posting on the "Success tales" post so soon. But here I am to tell people poly is hard work, but it's nowhere NEAR as impossible as people think when first considering it. All the "newb problems"? Been there. There...

No Problem LovingRadiance. I imagined it was something that went wrong with the forum or your computer.... Machines. XD As for my problems, I talked to Peaches, directly asking about his past poly relationship that didn't work out. He explained me that she never asked him for poly or open...

I'd say you're overthinking this a bit. While it's important to communicate your limmits and wants to all of your partners, I don't think such details should be defined even before any other relationship actually starts. There's a long way between deciding to go poly and have someone move in...

I guess I never had that problem because I don't go around looking for people. Things normaly evolve from friendships with me, and my friends always know about me being poly. I have a really hard time conecting with complete strangers enough to tell them stuff like that, and I wouldn't feel...

Dealing with borderline throughout the years has taught me take many times (most of the time, actually) things are not as bad as they seem and that negative thinking is a part of the disorder, not of my life. So I try to force myself into being aware of it. I am going throught therapy and...

It'a a specific group of people. I don't think everyone there knows about it, at least for the most part, people continue to respect me and treat me the same, so if they know, they choose not to intrude. There were no questions asked to any of us in the begining. Someone saw me with CC and next...

Thank you both for the good advice. LovingRadiance, what you said about mom was very clarifying. It's exactaly that: She IS emotionally tied to what people think of me. I'll have to work this out with her. Me and CC met each other on a martial arts class. Everyone there has VERY strict...

Exactaly. To my closest friends I do explain that my view on unconditional love is that gender should not be a condition either. When I give people the exemple of Peaches - he could be a woman, or pretty much WHATEVER gender on the wide spectrum (I don't see it as only two possibilities at all)...

I'm in the emotional rollercoaster right now. I don't really like it, I want out. XD Poly, as you guys surely know, is hard work. It did seem easy at first, though, let me explain why. I always, no matter how great my ralationship with a current boyfriend was, found myself falling someone else...

This. It's more about avoiding unecessary crap than being afraid to tell. Silkanie, Before I was familiar with the word pansexual, I did identify myself as bi. Heard a lot about "not having the balls to be a lesbian", "being in a transiction phase and soon to be a lesbian" and even "Just trying...

HE actually told me this today. He said exactly this, that it was his choice to be with me and he knew how the social circle we share would take it (not so warmly) from the start, and decided it was worth it. And that I should just relax. I do tend to over-protect and over-analyze. :/

Peaches has a little game about that. Sometimes he will just laugh and point out how many assumptions people make. Sometimes he'll roleplay and go along with the conversation (like pretenting to be chocked that I'm "cheating" or having "jaleousy fits") until he can't help laughing any longer...

I get that a lot. While my sister says it's not actually as agressive as calling me a slut or telling Peaches he ought to find a better girl for him (both did happen more than once or twice), I really think it's meant to be offensive. As you said, really passive-aggressive and does come off as...

I'm glad I could be of help. About the feeling empowered thing, it IS empowering. Think about it: how mature and how confident you have to be. How much you trust your relationship and partner. How confortable you are with each other. How many people spend a lifetime looking for such connection...