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welcome Hi and Welcome! I have had the opportunity to dialogue with Sweetie. She seems like a great person and has been a great sounding board for me.

I find that you and I have a lot in common and I wanted to ask you for your advice/comments. I have been in a V for about 7 years. I am married and have a "friend". They are both my partners but we are all straight! We do live together which is really where our problems usually arise. In the...

You're at a difficult point, trying to figure out what will or will not work out for all of you. Have faith in what you already have with the two of them. Things always have a way of working themself out. This is not a "typical" situation and can be hard for anyone, even the people in the...

do all three of you live together? Has this caused "issues" within your community? your families? do you get lots of questions and raised eyebrows? what is your standard answer? (I am new to this forum so you may have already given this info in previous posts)

I couldn't agree more , that it really is about the comfort level. I try and remind myself that if I am ok with all of this than I really need to get over worrying if anybody is ok with what I choose for my life.If they are not comfortable than they need to do whatever they need to do I think...

Go for it I am in a V. I have been married for 10 years and have been with my partner for 7 years. What an amazing journey it has been. I believe that you can love more than one person. For us, we all have a mutual respect and love for each other. The two men are not sexual with each other, but...

I have been following your thread and hoping things have settled a bit for you. Ironically we had a few posts back and forth in regard to my difficulties with the same sort of issues! I continue to struggle every day with the constant paranoid feeling that the outside world, including my family...

kids I am interested in knowing how the adults did with the relationship as teenagers? What struggles were you faced with? Was it hard for the "solo" person at weddings, graduations etc.. What about the kids partners families, friends etc..

I think I get it now! I'm sorry for the confusion. I am the only polyamorous one. I am with two men who are wired straight-mono, who only want me, but have agreed to share me. This is a V, right?

Redpepper, I'm sorry to confuse you with the titles, mono and V. These are completely new terms to me. I thought mono was the term everyone used for the person who wasn't married in the relationship. I understand V, but didn't even know such things existed in the first place, hence why I am...

It all just happend to me as well. I was on the white picket fence, kids, dogs path and another person just came along and basically made me and my husband better people.

You say it is not quite common. I actually thought I was completely alone in this situation! I have yet to hear of anything like it, ever, in my life. It was new to me. I just sorta fell into it without any prior thought. It just seemed right at the time. Natural and pure, no agendas, just...

Redpepper, Thank you for your reply. Some more background on me/us: we are all professionals and are very present in the community we live in. This proves to be difficult at times, but I can usually deal with it. We have been in a MFM triad for seven years. Our partner is mono, and then there's...

Thanks Thanks for your reply. I try to maintain that attitude , but most of the world seems miserable and wants to bring others down. We have a similar situation that you describe you are in. I grapple with several issues internally. Maybe you can share with me how the three of you deal with...

alone I guess I am a worrywart by nature. I felt I was alone in this lifestyle. I didn't set out looking for this situation. I was just blessed with two amazing people who crossed my life's path. I just Googled this lifestyle. I am surprised to see that lots of other people are involved in...

How How do you seem to deal with this lifestyle with such security? You seem to not care what anyone else thinks nor do you care. How do you maintain this attitude in the cookie cutter world we live in? Do you ever fear you will lose your relationship with your son? parents? etc...? I would...

unacceptable This situation would be unacceptable to my neighbors, friends, and family!

I guess they feel like I spend less time with them, and feel that I am probably more distant towards them than I was in the past, because I feel like they might figure it out.

Family How do people deal with family members who notice you spend an unusual amount of time with an additonal person outside of your marriage and almost feel jealous and a bit confused with the situation?

stressed I have read a lot of these threads, especially Redpepper's. I have a lot of trouble dealing with the stress of feeling like I live with such a huge secret. How do people deal with this?