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    Healing from Infidelity in a Poly Relationship (very long)

    Emmy, This sounds like a harrowing ordeal. I'm sorry you've had to go through this. I agree with powerpuffgrl that your husband has a lot of work to do and that this will be difficult. You both should break all ties with your "best friend." I understand that you want to repair things with...
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    Dating Challenges for a Married Man

    Meetups? I like that you are going to local music alone. Maybe you'll find someone with similar musical taste and you can go to these events together! You might also use this opportunity to explore other hobbies and interests, or develop new ones. I know you said you are in a smaller town...
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    In-House Separation?

    Related question: if a marriage looks like it is headed for divorce, and has been on a pronounced downward trajectory particularly since a certain secondary relationship began, does that secondary partner (or do all secondary partners) have a right to know what is going on?
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    In-House Separation?

    No. Can you fill me in about that relevance?
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    In-House Separation?

    We opened our marriage because he wanted to explore sexually. We started with swinging, but I quickly found that casual sex was not satisfying for me. After a lot of discussion he agreed that I could date on my own in a more polyamorous approach. He later also tired of the casualness of swinging...
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    In-House Separation?

    He claims I use more tongue than I used to. I do not stick my tongue down anyone's throat :rolleyes: but I do little lip-licking things when I kiss that most people like, and which I have always done. I am not sure why his perceptions have changed.
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    In-House Separation?

    My husband and I opened our marriage about 5.5 years ago. Currently, I've been seeing a guy regularly for 8 months and he has been seeing a woman for about 3 months. We each also sometimes have additional partners. For the last few months, my husband and I have had less and less sex. I have...
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    Navigating Early Stages of Poly Dating

    I like that idea. With some guys, though, I don't know how to begin that conversation. I guess I'm clueless/graceless/etc. but if we never talk about The Relationship or What Is Happening Here, I don't know how to even bring it up. Can you possibly hold my hand through a sample intro?
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    Navigating Early Stages of Poly Dating

    I feel like I need to print this out and read it several times a day until I internalize it. I think I shy away from this approach, however, because I have this idea (probably misguided, I guess) that someone who starts out thinking this can be nothing but casual might realize that it can be...
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    Navigating Early Stages of Poly Dating

    This is really helpful. Thanks. I will give that some thought and consider just laying that out there. For what it's worth, I don't necessarily think these guys are dirtbags. I think a lot of guys have a hard time wrapping their heads around the idea that a relationship with a married woman...
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    Navigating Early Stages of Poly Dating

    How do I figure out what that time is? I'm thinking a date every week or two is enough, as long as there is also contact otherwise through texting, email, whatever, in between. But I'm not sure how to quantify that, or if I even know what I need. How do you characterize your needs?
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    Navigating Early Stages of Poly Dating

    I wasn't clear No, I'm not asking anyone to be monogamous with me at all, at any point. What I meant to say was that I can't ask anyone to be temporarily monogamous in order for a better connection to develop, even though I suspect one thing that makes it difficult for a connection to develop...
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    Navigating Early Stages of Poly Dating

    My husband and I have had an open marriage for 4.5 years, and have been dating individually for three years. I'm mostly straight, although heteroflexible. I have had a few good relationships, but I repeatedly run into problems with the early stages of dating men. I primarily meet people through...
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    Hello from Wisconsin

    Hi, Everybody, I'm a married woman who has been dabbling in poly dating. We've been swinging for about 2.5 years, and I found that that while swinging is great for my husband, it isn't ideal for me because of the lack of an emotional/intellectual connection. So we've continued with swinging...
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