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Well, I'm separated. So far I feel happy and relieved...not good signs for my marriage though. The thing I think I have to sort out is whether I wanted to try poly to "save my marriage" or because I wasn't getting my needs met in my relationship....or if it's something I really want to try...

Thanks, yes I think it has been at that place for a while. I've been aware that I may be accepting a certain level of engagement from him for the rest of our lives- sometimes I've been okay with that, sometimes not. Of course the hardest part is me coming 'out' re: wanting to try poly was a wake...

Thanks. I guess I've been thinking I need to figure out how I feel about being poly instead of sorting out the relationship first- since he sees it as waiting to find out if I want to date. I don't have motivation anymore (at the moment) to put additional effort into making the marriage work-...

AnotherConfused, thanks for sharing your experience. NYCindie, thanks for this:

Hi All, Just sorting things out for myself and though this might be a good resource. I've had polyamory on the brain for a while now. Thought about discussing it with my husband before but never acted. As of late I thought I didn't want to open the relationship and then try to find someone...