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Jane, thank you so much. Stories like yours, and others above, are exactly what I started this thread for. The only real exposure I had to Poly for a long time just seemed like a complete lack of commitment, not like what I really think something with the word "love" in its name should be like...

Jane's with John. And I'd rather not get into talking about their problems, if you don't mind. I do know that Jane ended a superficial secondary relationship recently to focus on John, and that they go to counseling. Wifey's advances toward Jane have not been met with a whole lot of...

To clarify, Wifey is interested in Jane, not John. John is Jane's Primary. We've all been friends for some time now, to varying but slowly increasing degrees, since well before Wifey started feeling this way toward Jane. And yes, things are in a stable equilibrium, but mostly because Jane is...

Well, we're kinda getting away from "general & theoretical" into something that should be more in the Relationships Corner, but here goes: AnnabelMore: Thing is, they're at that level of friendship and emotional commitment already, and it doesn't phase me, and they're both fairly committed to...

We're pretty good at talking things out, and I know I think further ahead than Wifey on these matters so far. One concern we've discussed is the potential for this to go beyond the cutesy, kissey, hand-holdey stage, beyond attraction and romance (which is all Wifey has in mind at present) and...

I am indeed worried quite a bit about my wife losing the best friendship she's had in years. This person has been very good for her, in a lot of ways. The innocence factor is more an issue for my wife than for myself. I never saw myself as innocent, even when I was; I had waaay too much of a...

I dunno, mostly that this has all been done before and it isn't the end of anybody's world. That long-term, loving friendships can grow and change in unexpected ways and still be maintained without damage having to take place elsewhere. Sounds rational and possible, but this is all incredibly...

Oh, I know there's no magic bullet, and I know relationships end; that's one of my fears in this whole thing. I'm not really sure what I'm asking for besides stories. There's very little research or literature on this all. I know something like 50% of marriages end in divorce, and I know some...

"Wifey" is spousally-approved. I just wanted something more silly to refer to her by than "DW", and it makes her laugh. I know it isn't terribly PC, has a bit of a demeaning tone, but she's a business owner, lifts weights like few women you'll ever meet, and is very much more "type A"...

Ok, so how many kinds of Poly are there? What are they, and how do they work? I'm aware that some people have just completely open relationships and don't discuss other partners with each other, and that some give each other veto power, and that some call themselves poly when what they're really...

I'm really hoping this forum has more breadth of attitudes than what you've seen so far. I'm new here, too, and what you describe as your version of poly sounds nice to me. My spouse and I put each other first. My wife explicitly gave me veto power, not just regarding the person she's interested...

Yeah, John and I get along ok. Like I said, they've been involved in our lives for a while now, so I've already been around him enough to like him. He actually came over for Christmas dinner because Jane was out of town visiting family, which was weird, but not uncomfortable. Wifey & Jane have...

Background on my situation Here's where I'm at right now: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?p=173804#post173804 Still sometimes finding myself overwhelmed and scared. We seem to be able to communicate pretty clearly, though, and I know we're solid. It's like the first time you're...

I was having some "new user" difficulties. Could you please delete the two earlier versions of my post in Poly Relationships Corner? These here are the ones that can be nixed: http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=35659 http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?t=35658

Hey, all. So, yeah, I'm new here. And yeah, I'm new to poly. I think I'm probably somewhat unusual in that my wife and I, high school sweethearts, practicing Catholics, and fantastically mutually satisfied lovers, have been together and happily monogamous for a decade before even considering...

I don't know how much you've talked about it... But you really need to explain to him why you see her as a threat, and come to him honestly. That may even mean 'fessing up to your own Machiavellian Machinations of days past so you can tell all about hers and give him the whole picture.

Hey, there, Welcome to the Forum. I hope my wife and I find these changes as great as you guys have. We've been married 10 years, and happy with each other throughout, but we've only been talking about this for a few weeks now. Was it as . . . scary for you guys at the beginning as it is for...

Thanks. Thanks. I'm not planning on "opening up," myself, but I understand her situation is different. We're doing some reading (Tristan Taormino's Opening Up), and communicating well, and talking with friends who have some measure of experience with these things, but it's all pretty...

Short version: my high school sweetheart and I, after a decade of loyal, happy monogamy, two kids, and more trials and tribulations than you can imagine, have decided to look into Poly. Wifey came out to me as Bi a couple years ago, and it didn't seem to change anything for us, but she has...