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The thread looking for someone was old, not new. And my partner was updating it, looking at it, not me. He doesn't know I posted this thread.

Dagferi, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to imply that you don't get jealous. I think I meant maybe you were better at dealing with those feelings and looking inward. YouAreHere, thank you for your feedback as a mono, and how you deal with it all. I am working on it. That's why I'm here. Obviously, I...

I think you don't do those things (sit at home worrying about him making all sorts of special intimate memories, etc.) because you operate/identify as poly. It is different for someone who is basically mono trying to digest jealousy, in my opinion.

Yes, I guess... no, I know you are right. I don't have to be/do/want everything my partner wants in life, but I still try to be. I am still coming to terms with the fact that I can't be/do/want all the same things he does.

I would love to give him what he wants-- a second person for him to love and share things with (love, fun, happiness, intimacy, etc.), without it making me feel jealous/confused/a yo-yo of feelings. That is why I come on these boards, to read about other people's struggles and how they overcame...

I am okay with alone time. I have friends, family, hobbies, and even just my own down time, which I like.

Thank you, Vicarious. That is essentially how I feel. And like I said earlier in this thread, it was becoming easier after he had been dating someone else for 3 years. They broke up in May, and it's been just us again. I started getting used to the old us, just me and him. I have to get used to...

Hi all. Thank you Kevin and Vicarious for putting things into words better than I may have so far. Yes, ideally, we would be able to build a relationship where all three are enjoying new things together, and no, not always at the same time. My husband and I are still very much in love and do...

Exactly...it isn't that easy to just pick one. I could say sure of course I pick #3 but a lot comes with it.

No definitely not depressed! But thanks for your concern. :) For the most part, I am usually ok with it, and I guess you could say have grown used to it. I just struggle with it from time to time. He does meet my needs. Some of my wants, he cannot meet, because that would mean him not being who...

That was a great article, thanks!

Sorry it took me a few days to respond. To answer some of your questions, no, my husband doesn't leave me to suffer in poly hell alone. He does try to reassure me constantly. I have a hard time not being everything to him. And yes, I know I can't possibly, but it hurts and feels bad when it...

It isn't that easy. Yes, obviously I want him in my life. That's why I am still here after struggling constantly with this. It does not make it any easier when he is out meeting new people, having firsts all over again, making new memories, while I am left out. It is easy for two poly people to...

Thank you all for your feedback and honest opinions and advice. I don't know what I am going to do at this point... Talk to my husband, of course, and try to see where we go from here. Again thank you all for being a listening ear. :)

After 19 years together, and him first saying, "No, it's just sex," ok, I bent. "No, it's this or that," I bent. Then finally him saying, "I want 2 of you, two primaries," two lives split down the middle, still I bent, until she walked away. And now it's him looking for that other person, while...

Oh ok, I am playing the martyr. I should just be a bitch and end it.

Is there a like button?! Cuz yes, that is what I am told is what I get from this type of relationship!

His happiness has always come before mine, but I am just getting kinda tired of it. Like why? Just be single. If you want to date, go meet new people, have all these new experiences, then let me go, and go do that.

That's where we differ. We were a closed relationship and he changed, wanting to open our relationship .

Umm... really no! My happiness above his? No. Never in 19 years. It's just getting to the point of enough is a enough and maybe we are not right for each other.