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I have had this experience exactly.

I also think it's longer than 10 minutes, but I enjoyed taking it.

Just an update. Things are pretty great. Txgirl has really become part of our family. We did a family trip over the summer and have been spending every weekend together. What's really interesting is Kay seems really happy when we are all together. She is extremely likely to do events or...

It's only important if you think it's important. I can understand where the 2 1/2-year partner is bothered, but it's not her life. FWIW, you've already not told your parents, so the importance of your 2 1/2-year partner is fixed. Telling them could increase her importance, but not telling them...

Our kids were not upset in the least when we told them. TxGirl's daughter was, in fact, very relieved to know it was all honest and open and that no secrets were being hidden. At a poly seminar given by Elisabeth Sheff, I asked if she had seen negative reactions from kids. She said the only...

It helped my marriage. Kay and I have a very significant extrovert/introvert balance problem. Since I've been able to date, it has allowed me to meet my attention needs that were causing a serious marriage issue. In addition, it has allowed Kay to join us on outings, which she now enjoys doing...

I know people here aren't opposed to triads or family style poly. I think most of us are skeptical that triads are sustainable as there aren't that many examples of it working. I think most of us think family style poly is sustainable as there are many examples of it working. I personally...

I think this bears repeating. People change over time. One of the tricks to long relationships is finding someone who is growing the same direction you are, or at least in compatible directions. One of the ways to do this is find someone who has the same current needs you do and then seeing how...

Whether it's culture or hormones, this is the way dating apps are set up. Women -very- rarely reach out first and guys are over-aggressive and jerks. Do not hesitate to abandon any conversation/person you are not interested in. I always appreciated a "I'm sorry, I'm no longer interested" but I...

Make sure that you only answer the questions that are really important to you and label them as such. Too many important things will very much water down your match percentages. You can find intelligence as a spark even in chatting. That's how I always found mine, and in my opinion, it's a...

It might be. It might not be. Try dating and see how it goes. Not just having sex, but dating.

Welcome back!

I'm not really sure you've done anything wrong. These are emotions that have to be expressed and talked through. I'm interested in your timelines. Is a "few months" closer to 3 or closer to 10? In one case, there's still a lot of NRE going on and her emotions are a bit wonky just as yours are...

I think this is one of the best analogies I have seen in regards to privilege

FWIW there's two problems with this thought experiment. First is that the median Asian is better off (economics and education) than the median caucasian.. The second is that when you go to the margins (ceo's, national politicians), there's about as much chance of a random white person reaching...

I know how you feel. It is important to me too, so I do.

That implies that orgasm is essential to a satisfying sexual experience. While I wouldn't want to go without orgasm on an extended basis, it isn't required. One of my most fun sexual times was a light bondage session where I never had an orgasm but very much enjoyed giving my partner pleasure.

Do not come out at a holiday. Do not come out at a family vacation. While these are tempting because you have extended time, it is a mistake trapping people when they are there to have a good time. When I came out, it was always as a preface to a meeting or dinner party or the like. "By the...

For me it can only be put off until the next time we have alone time with allowance for emergencies. Otherwise, I'm likely just to come out with it via text. I've never been all that good at keeping my mouth shut or avoiding going passive aggressive.

I agree with everyone who has responded, and I am very sorry you have had to go through this.