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Thank you for this. I sometimes lurk, but wanted to say thank you. I appreciate your perspective.

:) Warm fuzzy. Labels don't matter! Always important to recognize. Authentic matters. My husband wonders the same thing too, sometimes. On the one hand, behaviors I enjoy engaging in completely turn him on (he's finally able to express that he is a voyeur, or would like to explore that) and...

I've always taken a new love interest to Planned Parenthood with me. We both get tested, and afterwards we go out for a drink. :) I've been doing that since high school. I find if I'm pleasant and helpful, I can remove some of the barriers my partner(s) have to doing chores/appointments that...

Yes. It does. We have taken to lots of reading, writing our thoughts and sharing them (it really helps us!) and also grounding ourselves with lots of gratitude/in the moment work. So much of what we expect in relationships and what we enjoy about them is perceived and unspoken. I see this as an...

Yes, we'll see! I'm excited to have found one close to where we live and with good availability. At this point, I really have no idea what the outcome will be. My most immediate goal is for us to be able to determine what we are all comfortable with, and unpack baggage anyone might be...

Ack! I had a lovely reply with quotes and deep, thoughtful answers- then I waited too long to post and lost the whole thing. Wah! I forgot about that with these forums. First- thank you. All of your responses gave me great things to chew on, think about. We are a MFM 'friendship,' that I have...

There are three of us- me, my longtime partner (we are married) and his long time friend. Who, over time has also become my best friend and now someone I'm very attached to. We have to work stuff out. We tried going to our separate corners for two years, but that wasn't the answer. Everyone...

I think this community is amazing for self reflection and relationship growth. I so appreciate the advice I read. I think it's applicable is so many ways. I have asked for advice here before and found it helpful. I have come back and begun reading more as my partner and I continue to learn...

Just wanted to offer a virtual hug. Sounds very hard!!

Thanks for the great links on this thread. My husband and I are learning to understand each other as well. As Galagirl has mentioned in other threads, one of the hardest things is when a partner has assumptions about the marriage ('we're married so that's it, marriage means monogamous'), or...

I called out BFF about two weeks ago now. When confronted with the reality of the situation (something he was fine with just letting it happen without talk!) he practically ran screaming from the room. Couldn't 'fess up to his feelings, but I did. I'm proud of that. I don't regret being...

Want an update?!! I did finally show dh the Wikipedia definition of polyamory. He gets it. Took awhile to get through the 'well just how does this work?!!' questions and so forth. I think it's hard when you've got one person who is your 'everything' (me) and they tell you 'I'm open to more...

I found it when I was trying to figure out how to be honest with my partner about who I am. I was just googling around and found the Wikipedia definition. Thank goodness!

Wow, awesome. My dh isn't there yet, but I see him figuring things out slowly. :) I have a similar situation. And-- go midwives!! :D Our kids were born at home.

Me too!!! :) It totally sucks. If the whole experience weren't so fresh for me, it would be funny. We talked it all out. We got down to the nitty gritty. He decided he wanted someone to be there when he wakes up, to come home to, to hold hands with while admiring the sunset. Ah, c'est la vie...

All of your post was excellent, but the last part truly speaks to me. It was also interesting to me because my husband and I really are this way. We are (usually, although we've had our moments!) pretty emotionally healthy and secure. My husband says, "Even when you are super mad at me, I've...

This is where I get to be right now. :) I don't mind it a ton as long as my husband realizes that I am poly, even if we both agree that mono is what we need to do right now. And that's what I LOVE so much about this community. The honest posts and the deeper reflection that members here help a...

I think this aspect is one of the hardest parts of being okay with a V. One person ends up as the 'single,' even if some family/friends 'get it.'

Yes, right. Actually DH himself said 'you know he's always loved you' so it's there. I had never thought about a sex therapist, I don't know that our issues are that deep. He was a jerk and I let him have what he needed then kept score and justified my actions in a tit for tat. We are very...

Also, maybe coming from the swinging lifestyle, it's a big deal (and quite another thing altogether) to watch you fall in love and have NRE. He probably needs a lot of reassurance now and to actually see you put bf on the back burner for awhile. That would be my guess.