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THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for that example! That is the best way I have ever heard to reassure a mother with more than one kid, which happens to be the case here with both women.

Thanks, Kernow. Yes, I am seeing a lot of what you have felt in your own relationship.Although they are only in the beginning stages of getting to know each other, my wife and U are texting and talking so much that I actually felt a little neglected the other day. I had to laugh at myself for...

OK, went to the therapist again today. My wife came for the first time. The therapist got my wife to open up and talk about how she felt about the relationship changing from monogamous to polyamorous. The therapist was great - she was able to bring out a lot of the hurt and insecurity that my...

YAH, Thank you for alerting me to the "should monster". That seems like a very easy trap to fall into. On the subject of additional dating, what I said to my wife was, if she wants to date, I wouldn't stop her because that wouldn't be fair. But I couldn't stand it. All I'd ask is to let...

newguy, Thanks for those thoughts. Yes, we have discussed most of those options. I'll just answer them below rather that cutting and pasting into your quote: 1) I have already given her links to articles. I haven't given her a link to this forum, because I'm a little nervous that she may...

I'm sorry if I gave the impression that I'm doing this to get back at her. I'm not. We've had a good life together and I'm undeniably better off with her than I would have been without her. It has nothing to do with payback. If I was going to pay her back for it, now that the kids are grown...

You can kiss my backward primitive small-town Christian ass. My morals do not allow abandoning women and children, even if they did break their word to me. I've spent the last quarter century taking care of the result of my actions, with the outcome that said result calls me dad, hugs me daily...

No. We agreed to use birth control. An accidental pregnancy would have been one thing. But we had an agreement. She violated that agreement by deliberately going off the pill in order to get pregnant, thus forcing marriage. Her family was two doors down the street from mine, since the 8th...

You are not wrong there. Today was a 180 degree about face from both women. I spent an hour on the phone reassuring U and all lunch plus a couple of hours at home reassuring my wife that no one is being pushed aside. I'm finding that every word out of my mouth is being examined for any...

GalaGirl, Thank you for making these observations. I'm already running into some of the issues you mentioned... but also, much less than I anticipated. Since I came clean on Tuesday, my wife and I have probably spent more time talking about relationship issues than we have in the previous 25...

You are absolutely correct. If you go back to my original post, you'll notice I mentioned seeing a therapist...

Off to dinner. Wish us luck!

I read what you guys said, and you are right. I did not think they were ready to meet each other. But my wife requested the meeting, and U agreed to it. Today my wife asked me to call U so she could meet her, so I did. It went amazingly well. So they both want to meet each other. I thought...

Hi, I am here because I am looking to repair my colossal screw-up. I cheated on my wife of 25 years. She caught me, and now we are trying to recover. Over the last few days, as we have discussed my atrocious behavior, we have communicated more than I think we have in the last decade...