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little more....the hugest part of this is I know, know in my soul I cant be with him and watch him date. it crushes me. I went through a lot of younger relationships feeling unworthy, and I cant go back there. And im hung up on the fact that both I and nudge's wife were lying to our spouses...

so we've been split for two weeks...but dragging it out like hell. he's in the UK, im back here in the states *(hes back tomorrow). HE was writing he missed me and cared for me, I was bouncing between telling him to fuck off and telling him how much I miss and love him. I've been a mess. I...

Youre husband may be afraid you'll leave for the ex. My ex was also "blacklisted" for some time until my spouse decide I could sleep with him, but not "date" him/ I'll always love my ex...but we make a bad couple. Be careful what you do and always be true to yourself

My (ex) partner and I just went through this. Though we started as poly secondaries, both ended up without our spouses and became primaries...and I don't want t obe poly. We banged our heads against this for months. it got worse and worse until only the sex was enjoyable and everything else...

Thank you so much for your kind words, I hope your pregnancy is progressing well. We split up, just last night. I cried, he cried, hell I cried most of the way through sex (amazing as it was. always is). He insists we'll reconcile....while also saying he may always want to be poly. Im not...

I hate poly. im sorry but I really really really do. it is the most painful, mixed up ,fucked up, confusing experience ive ever had the displeasure of encountering. I hate D. for introducing me to it, I hate myself for getting my spouse to do it, and I hate everyone who keeps telling me how...

Thanks so much YAH, really wonderful advice and very useful. thanks for being gentle. We are both coming out of codependent relationships, where we were both the 'care giver' spouse. He now feels he doesn't want to be "obligated" to anyone. I feel I want someone else to take control and take...

struggling poly turned mono is more like it for me I guess. We started poly, cause we were married, I never ever ever wanted to 'share' him. now we are bothing divorcing....and he wont close. I can see in his face how much he loves me, hes open to a future with me as domestic (possibly married...

I wasn't going to put this over here, and only on my blog, but why the heck not? some of the feedback has been useful well latest and greatest I told D. I was really hurt hes waiting for me to 'get over it' and "you'll be ok with it once I start dating'. I asked him to accept the fact that I...

well latest and greatest ( don't feel like putting this on my relationship thread) I told D. I was really hurt hes waiting for me to 'get over it' and "you'll be ok with it once I start dating'. I asked him to accept the fact that I am NOT ok with it. and I wont BE ok with it the way he wants...

Pitiful is the woman who sits and pines for a dream she can not have. I went to sleep last night thinking of what kind of wedding we'd have, what i'd wear, who would be there, where it would be. Love sick teenager much? I've been trying hard to refocus on my kids. Telling them daddy and I...

been there, done that, got the teeshirt and no thank you :)

Thanks for all this KR. I agree with you and told him I am not setting rules or dictating what he can and cant do. We want very different things. We've made no resolution, I offered to back off myself while he does all the things he wants...the risk being we may never get what we had back...

Shit happens. I told him from the beginning, I didn't think I could handle playing second fiddle, was two primaries possible...yada yada yada. So i'd say the onus is on both of us.

This is me too, incase you want even more threads about how I couldn't handle the wife from the very beginning. I will tell you though, that I never came between them. I reached out to her, I offered them space and time, I was kind to him...at the end, I wanted it to end because I'd just...

Thank you Hannah. I am also swarmed with emotions right now and hanging on tightly (to something, maybe life itself). Funny you mentioned the sex thing, cause he is the person I have been most sexually compatible with in my whole life. I agree with you, we can be all things to one person...

Thanks for your words SlowPoly <3 I asked him if exclusive is on the table at all, since his desire to have 'full blown' polyamory is on the table and he said of course we'd discuss it since its what I want. I didn't exactly hear that as "i'll be considering it." I agree with you his thing is...

Everything is just rough. One thing nagging me right now, is people keep telling me I have to let D. be authentic to himself and if he feels poly inside, I cant ask him to change that. I am urged to find a way to except poly... But what about MY authentic self? I am about 98% sure I am not...

Sorry I had not seen this last bit before I responded. Honestly? If D. wanted preferred a break from me to a break from "others' i'd seriously question our relationship. But I'm also newly identified as mono not poly, so its somewhat different.

Alex, this is what I want too with my own BF. he agreed to a week or two of cooling it off, then re-assessing. since I was very mad at him at the time, I said that wasn't enough (mind you, he doesn't have an outside partner, hes just looking). But we DID agree to go to counseling together, and...