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Thanks a lot for the suggestions, good advice. I'll keep working on it. Certainly it's hurting all of us, even the other girlfriend. I know he does it for her, because it's her who wants a mono relationship, or kind of "pretend" it is. But it's harming her too. Plus, she doesn't show any bad...

Help Hi friends, here I am again. I am back near Jan for a few weeks, after spending almost two months with Carl. You may think Jan would have the hardest time in this, but actually Skype has worked reasonably well :) Actually, I think it's Carl who doesn't know how to handle this. As he was...

Leaving in a week I'm getting a bit nervous about moving near Carl. Heading there next week. I'm so looking forward to seeing him after almost three months, and at the same time making the most of my time with Jan before I leave. Then again, no hurry on that, but I guess I'll see Carl's other...

This is interesting. When I was trying to make my mono boyfriend understand polyamory, I was telling him that one person doesn't replace another, that every person is different, and that you express yourself in different ways with different people. And he said something like, 'Yeah, but you have...

I love this thread. It's like listening to my own feelings expressed by others. :) Actually, I didn't realize *I* was poly until I saw *other* people were mono :eek: I had always thought that monogamy was about controlling your feelings. I thought it was 'normal' to have a crush, even fall in...

That's why I don't like the word "friend with benefits"... Friendship without benefits is just friendship. Benefits without friendship is just sex. But if you have a real friendship with someone plus a sexual relationship, I don't see how that's not love. Unless the friendship is not such. My...

Hahahha LOL!! Throuple!!! That's fab :D This thread is funny. Actually, I had the same "problem" when I was in a mono relationship. In my first marriage it was clearly "my husband", but my second partner was that, a partner, we were not married. Although, for some people I said "my husband"...

BTW, Sage, I love your blog, I had seen it before but didn't know it was someone in here. I might even get the ebook for my boyfriend, maybe it would help him... :)

Yeah, I think Jan is the one who will have a hard time now. But in a way, some distance may be good for him. I always have the impression that I'm preventing him from finding someone else who can give him what he wants. I would love to keep him with me, but also, I want him to be happy, and I'm...

Hi all, Sorry I haven't posted for a while. It's been an emotionally difficult time for me. Now I thought I would start one of these blogs, maybe it will help me :) I'll remind you (see my introduction post here) I'm female, straight, and had a mono relationship with Jan until I discovered I...

Best of luck, whatamIdoing. I suppose it's even worse if neither of your men accept sharing you. At least, my man number two (so to speak) is as poly as I am, and happy with it. But you and I know when you love someone (sometwo? lol) you just love them, no matter how mono they are. Then again...

That cheers me up a little bit, redevil. I'll give it some time. And yeah, it's good to feel you are not alone. It really helps. :)

It's an unfair world, right? How many women would like to find a monogamous and faithful guy, willing to commit for life? I do have it, and I want something else! Yeah, I guess somebody will have to sacrifice something. After all, you can have anything you want, but you can't have everything...

Good rant, BlackUnicorn. I couldn't have ranted better. :D My other love, C, had to leave his girlfriend a few months ago, because she wanted him to be mono. There was no other possibility for them, and it still hurts him. (That was before I started seeing him.) Like me, he discovered he is...

Not only does it not upset me, Mahogany, listening to you is almost like listening to my partner, so it helps a lot. You have described exactly how he feels (or how I think he feels). I wish I could allow him to talk. But he is so sad/angry that he doesn't even feel like talking. I keep telling...

Thanks, Redpepper. Wise advice. If there is anything I've learned over the past thirty years, it is that you may know how you feel now, but you don't know how you will feel next month or next year. "Follow the natural flow of my heart"... I like that sentence. It's what I've decided to do. It...

Thanks a lot, Mono. Your survival guide was really good. It made me smile. :D Plus it helped me make some things clear about myself. For example, I feel I'm the poly-fi kind, rather than about complete openness. Maybe this will make him feel less insecure. Let's see in the next days. He feels...

Hi folks, I'm female with a male partner, trying to make him understand I'm polyamorous, and I've always been, even if I didn't even accept it myself. I kept falling in love with other people while still loving my partner, and now I've decided to be myself and not hide it from myself or from...

Hi folks So happy to discover this forum and all the poly stuff on the web. It's been awesome to see there are so many people like me. I knew it wasn't just me :o I always wanted to be poly, but it was sort of at the back of my head, couldn't even come out to myself. Sounds too weird to...