2200road

[vinsanity0]

Thank you for your input, a big part of it is concern for her safety if i dont know a partner, if i knew them then not being there wouldnt bother me, but when i know literally nothing about a guy, and i cant be there, paranoia kicks in and i worry about her safety, amongst other things. So is it really too much to ask to either be there a few times, or get to know the lovers i cant be involved with before being excluded? And i didnt expect anyone to have specific answers, was just looking for info and viewpoints. And to say i am not poly is not fair to me and a bit of a stretch when you dont know much about me, i dont judge you and say you are or are not this or that with minimal information so i would appreciate you not doing it to me. Thank you

I'm not being judgmental. There is nothing wrong with not being poly. It's not a putdown.

It's up to her whether or not it's too much to ask. Nobody here can answer that for you. All I can say is what I would or wouldn't do. I wouldn't exactly say take it with a grain of salt. I'd say to take from responses what you can. Usually my responses are designed to get people to think about things.

Personally, I see no reason to do this. I date and have relationships with adults who don't need that kind of protection or supervision. Nor would I start seeing someone who told me my meta had to hang out and watch us play or have sex. Not my kink. I'm sure she could find guys into that if she looked hard enough. But you should ask yourself if it is really fair to her to limit her ability to have relationships like that. (This is coming from a guy who attempted to impose several rules on a long term relationship that went from mono to poly. It took a lot of introspection to get to where I knew that was wrong. Well that and a lot of reading in this forum.)

I have plenty more deep, probing questions, but since you appear to be looking for validation I will refrain.