Hi all,
I introduced myself several weeks ago (see here), and I thought I might start up a blogging thread to keep track of how things are going.
Brief recap: my husband Astraeus and I have been together for about 12 years and have a young son. Astraeus fell in love with Daedalea (whose primary relationship is with Suillus) in July, and they've been in a relationship (with my blessing) since October. This is all very recent and sudden, and a huge life change as well, since polyamory had never so much as entered our thoughts before this!
After a bit of a shaky start with some inadvertent stepping on toes, in November we set up a mutual agreement with the aim of everyone feeling safe and loved, and so far that has worked really well. The agreement covers things like locations, frequency and times of dates for Astraeus and Daedalea, and agreements about safe sex, potential other partners and good communication. A & D see each other weekly for an evening each time, and monthly for a day long date.
Daedalea and I have also become good friends, and we plan to spend some time together too (the three of us spend a lot of time together as well, both online and in real life). In short, we have become quite a tight-knit group.
Suillus is still having difficulty coming to terms with everything. This is (my opinion only, because I feel uneasy about putting words in his mouth) partly because he has been absent for a lot of the time during the important formative phase, and also because he is resolutely monogamous himself, with all the challenges that that brings. We have all just navigated a rather difficult couple of weeks which culminated in us meeting him for the first time (well, me for the first time, Astraeus for the second). He seemed like an interesting and fun guy, the sort of person I'd normally be drawn to because of shared interests, but he is very wary about this situation and therefore reserved about having contact with us. I think the next six months to a year are going to be interesting for all concerned. And maybe not so easy.
I'll stop here for now, because this is a huge, sprawling epic sort of story and I do tend to rabbit on. I'm hoping to use this post as a place to come and talk about what's going on (both good and bad), and I welcome comments!
Amanita
I introduced myself several weeks ago (see here), and I thought I might start up a blogging thread to keep track of how things are going.
Brief recap: my husband Astraeus and I have been together for about 12 years and have a young son. Astraeus fell in love with Daedalea (whose primary relationship is with Suillus) in July, and they've been in a relationship (with my blessing) since October. This is all very recent and sudden, and a huge life change as well, since polyamory had never so much as entered our thoughts before this!
After a bit of a shaky start with some inadvertent stepping on toes, in November we set up a mutual agreement with the aim of everyone feeling safe and loved, and so far that has worked really well. The agreement covers things like locations, frequency and times of dates for Astraeus and Daedalea, and agreements about safe sex, potential other partners and good communication. A & D see each other weekly for an evening each time, and monthly for a day long date.
Daedalea and I have also become good friends, and we plan to spend some time together too (the three of us spend a lot of time together as well, both online and in real life). In short, we have become quite a tight-knit group.
Suillus is still having difficulty coming to terms with everything. This is (my opinion only, because I feel uneasy about putting words in his mouth) partly because he has been absent for a lot of the time during the important formative phase, and also because he is resolutely monogamous himself, with all the challenges that that brings. We have all just navigated a rather difficult couple of weeks which culminated in us meeting him for the first time (well, me for the first time, Astraeus for the second). He seemed like an interesting and fun guy, the sort of person I'd normally be drawn to because of shared interests, but he is very wary about this situation and therefore reserved about having contact with us. I think the next six months to a year are going to be interesting for all concerned. And maybe not so easy.
I'll stop here for now, because this is a huge, sprawling epic sort of story and I do tend to rabbit on. I'm hoping to use this post as a place to come and talk about what's going on (both good and bad), and I welcome comments!
Amanita