clemenC
Member
super new to the forum but I think I might give this idea a go. I've never used the blog features on forums before. I'm a super private person irl but as of the recent, I'm starting to let that go a bit. Primarily, I posted a dating profile with my photos admitting that I was poly and looking for poly relationships. I live in a big city. but with a big family, that city gets small ... you get it I'm sure.
So I'm in my late thirties now. In 6 months that'll be official. and I guess my life has been so full of all these very intense experiences that it's time to let go for no other reason than my hard disk is nearly full. I can't download anymore experiences let alone pictures until I do a bit of clean sweeping.
I don't know how often I'll post. but I know this will be cathartic and clean up the necessary space in my head.
It's late so here's the top 5 things you ought to know:
1. I'm a special needs mom. single special needs mom. my son has autism and lives in a group home during the week. his dad passed when he was 4. we were married. I always struggle in dating because I never want to set the tone negatively and some people can be super touchy with overly emotional topics. Even though, for me, it's not like that. I'm a weird breed
2. I have had the most fucked up experiences that have flavored my sexuality. and there are so many stories and lessons in that statement. I'll try to share some stories for no other reason than, it's time. I'm dating someone new and found myself fantasizing about opening up to him in a way that's totally inappropriate because at this point in time, I seriously question the longevity of the relationship. I'm afraid I'm just a passing phase for him. So, this place might be just the place to open up and fill that need. because sharing oneself IS a need for all types of people. I would elaborate but this point is already long.
3. I'm so cheesy, dorky, nerdy, afraid and yet I'm overly confident. I am forever trying to figure out myself because I don't make any sense. when the OkCupid showed my chart for personality, it showed I was 98% more rational than the women of my age. Firstly, I don't know if I buy that. however, I do know I am more mature and logical in a way than most women my age. And I think that is what my problem is. In the relationship domain, incomes "feeeelings". and feelings of others are easy to analyze. but MY feelings. ugh .. that shit is just exhausting. and I know what you're thinking. stop thinking and feel them! ... but that shit is HARD! It's tiring just confessing that.
4. I'm forever drowning in overwhelmed. I am always overwhelmed. I really miss having a partner in my life that is there for me in a way that I feel.
5. I am feeling like the guy I'm seeing, like I'm the "unicorn" I keep reading about. I have so much work to do but really need to take the time to read up on some of the poly community terminology. I dig frameworks. Makes life much easier.
so that's about it. I think this blog will be a combination of random thoughts while I cope through the recent life I'm living and sharing stories to unload the content in my head. Only I wouldn't have the faintest idea as to where to begin ...
So I'm in my late thirties now. In 6 months that'll be official. and I guess my life has been so full of all these very intense experiences that it's time to let go for no other reason than my hard disk is nearly full. I can't download anymore experiences let alone pictures until I do a bit of clean sweeping.
I don't know how often I'll post. but I know this will be cathartic and clean up the necessary space in my head.
It's late so here's the top 5 things you ought to know:
1. I'm a special needs mom. single special needs mom. my son has autism and lives in a group home during the week. his dad passed when he was 4. we were married. I always struggle in dating because I never want to set the tone negatively and some people can be super touchy with overly emotional topics. Even though, for me, it's not like that. I'm a weird breed
2. I have had the most fucked up experiences that have flavored my sexuality. and there are so many stories and lessons in that statement. I'll try to share some stories for no other reason than, it's time. I'm dating someone new and found myself fantasizing about opening up to him in a way that's totally inappropriate because at this point in time, I seriously question the longevity of the relationship. I'm afraid I'm just a passing phase for him. So, this place might be just the place to open up and fill that need. because sharing oneself IS a need for all types of people. I would elaborate but this point is already long.
3. I'm so cheesy, dorky, nerdy, afraid and yet I'm overly confident. I am forever trying to figure out myself because I don't make any sense. when the OkCupid showed my chart for personality, it showed I was 98% more rational than the women of my age. Firstly, I don't know if I buy that. however, I do know I am more mature and logical in a way than most women my age. And I think that is what my problem is. In the relationship domain, incomes "feeeelings". and feelings of others are easy to analyze. but MY feelings. ugh .. that shit is just exhausting. and I know what you're thinking. stop thinking and feel them! ... but that shit is HARD! It's tiring just confessing that.
4. I'm forever drowning in overwhelmed. I am always overwhelmed. I really miss having a partner in my life that is there for me in a way that I feel.
5. I am feeling like the guy I'm seeing, like I'm the "unicorn" I keep reading about. I have so much work to do but really need to take the time to read up on some of the poly community terminology. I dig frameworks. Makes life much easier.
so that's about it. I think this blog will be a combination of random thoughts while I cope through the recent life I'm living and sharing stories to unload the content in my head. Only I wouldn't have the faintest idea as to where to begin ...
