GF issues

P

polyq4

Spaminator
I have been involved in a poly fourple for over 6 years now. Its a true fourple with all of us involved. Now the two guys arebreaking out a bit , my frien is looking for girls to connect with sexually. i am more looking for a gf, someone to love. I have found a lasy, and its going well, my wife is going to meet her today. The funny part is my GF's reaction, she has been crying, and talking to me ( i have been doing a lot of talking with the others in our Quad) . Her statement last night was , i am really not comfortable with you basically loving someone else. Wow....

Not sure where I am going with this now.

thanks for listening to my mini problem.
 
Why are you looking?

Not asking to imply that you shouldn't be. But it seems pretty easy to leap to the assumption that you used to be satisfied with your quad, and now you're not, so you're looking for an additional relationship. She might wonder how she fits into that dissatisfaction.

Does she understand why you're looking?
 
How does your gf feel about her husband looking?

I have always been in polyfi relationships. For some people, myself included, there is a great amount of security and stability in such an arrangement. However, my desire for polyfi has not stemmed from jealousy issues, but the desire for stability. Introducing another into the mix, can be destabilizing on the routines, etc. Do you think that this may be more of your gf's issue rather than jealousy? Perhaps she is not able to articulate this?

And I must say, you must be the king of organization and time management to to be able to manage a 4th relationship. Remember, while your love may not be limited, your time is. Your gf may have a legitimate concern that you won't be available to her as you have been.
 
Did you two guys talk to your women partners to let them know you wanted to branch out and why? Did you all discuss any boundaries, how to accommodate everyone's needs, any fears that came up, etc., BEFORE seeking others? Or was it more like you just started to date and then said, "By the way, I met someone" after the fact? Did she say why she is upset and doesn't want you to see any more others?
 
well....

The guys have been talking with the ladies, I took my wife to a poly social, and she is ok with me meeting people, my gf doesnt want me to fall in love with anyone else as she feels it might change the fourple dynamic. But we did have a discussion last night about her long time very occasional lover, got her to admit she loves him.

As to why i am looking, i dont mind being in love with someone else, in fact i enjoy it. i still do find myself with a fair bit of alone time and i want less of that, however I am also thinking about the strong challenges that are scheduling. Actually ran into that last night.

As to the gf and husband, she really does not have the concerns that she does for me....its a yah that will keep him happy to go out and play.

strongly re-evaluating having another gf, although I may have already fallen in love with her and her with me. So that is now a factor in my thinking.

Thanks guys
 
Update

so The Gf and i spent a lot of time talking this week. And talking and talking, some tears but not really ina bad way. Lots of emotions most of them good. We made love so many times we lost count. She is now ok with me seeing others.

I have not felt so loved by my quad as I have been in the last week. Also my new GF has expressed her love for me too.

Poly may be some work but it is so good too. Enjoying life at this moment very much.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top