DeviousIceCream
New member
Thanks for reading
Hey all,
I hope your days have been well and grand.
I'm 23-years old. I live in Asheville, NC. I'm attempting to expand out in a world of openness, honesty, creativity, love, and Perfection. I've been reading a lot about polyamory and listening to podcasts. I've been trying learn as much as I can for the past couple of years, and it feels like this past year has been full of wonderful experiences and people that continue to expand my understanding more and more every day, and I am grateful!
Almost a year ago, I met someone who has completely changed my life simply by knowing her. Describing our relationship is difficult because of the weight of labels. We are lovers, friends, partners, collaborators, daddy/daughter, mother/son, sisters, brothers, dancers, artists...
She has dark skin. She was alive during segregation. She is a priestess of Osun. She was raised Southern Baptist. I could go on forever. lol
Meeting her, learning about her life and beliefs, taught me the power of love, importantly, self love. This is a lesson that was never present in my life.
I was never greatly abused through childhood. I know my family loves me. It's just that I wasn't raised with the greatest foundations in communication, inwardly-directed introspection, and loving intimacy. You see, my life has been an interesting one, because when I was nine my mother decided to commit suicide. This left me with turbulence, new schools, custody battles, and a hurt family that to this day is still too pained to speak about her death and its effects, still felt today.
Obviously, I've also lived a life without a prominent mother figure. How has this affected my development as a individual being raised in Western society? Who knows? I don't. I notice that I am different from most people in social situations.
It feels like not having a mother in my life and living with my father who worked a lot, and living with a grandmother who mostly spoke Spanish (I didn't pick it up, unfortunately) left me without a lot of intimacy, or even the capability of being aware of that lack. I feel like that's why I'm drawn to a poly love style.
So meeting Valeria has really opened a doorway into myself where I'm free to learn, experiment, and explore, attempting to do no harm and operate within limitless Love.
Knowing her has freed me. So in that freedom I turned to Craigslist/casual encounters.
Lemme hear it: Awww... yeah.
Where else can you find opportunities to meet people and explore sexually? Everywhere sex and sexuality seem to be repressed, at least that's been my experience.
So anyway, I posted an ad yesterday titled: Let's get naked, talk, and masturbate!
And so a couple responded. We met up, we talked, we watched some favorite shows together, and played some video games. It was nice.
Being with Valeria has brought so many wonderful and new people into my life, but I am from a younger, nerdier/geekier culture, and so being around folks closer to my age is refreshing, since most of my school friends have drifted away.
So I found it pretty ironic to meet people through an ad kind of centered around casual sex, but instead we just ended up smokin' n' chillin'. What was interesting is that it was mainly she that had responded to my ad. It's unclear exactly how we all will move through this. They claimed to identify as swingers, but I'm not sure if communication is in place between them about what that looks like, or if anything that I'm looking for is of any interest to them.
What am I looking for?
Safe, consensual, sexual freedom
Friendship
Intimacy
Play
Naked people
So here I am the day afterwards, feeling awkward about texting her, not knowing if last night was just a random "few and far between" event. or if there is possibility for something fun, different, and magical. This is some romanticized BS, huh?
How am I supposed to approach this? One thing they mentioned when I asked the guy about how he felt about her playing with someone was that it's her call. Totally makes sense, right? But still, he is a part of the relationship, so for me, his feelings are relevant. They've been together for four years, so I can't imagine that he's truly so laissez-faire about this. Plus, is he interested in playing as well? How can these questions be asked without scaring people away? How can we talk about these things?
Thank you for reading my mind vomit.
DIC
Hey all,
I hope your days have been well and grand.
I'm 23-years old. I live in Asheville, NC. I'm attempting to expand out in a world of openness, honesty, creativity, love, and Perfection. I've been reading a lot about polyamory and listening to podcasts. I've been trying learn as much as I can for the past couple of years, and it feels like this past year has been full of wonderful experiences and people that continue to expand my understanding more and more every day, and I am grateful!
Almost a year ago, I met someone who has completely changed my life simply by knowing her. Describing our relationship is difficult because of the weight of labels. We are lovers, friends, partners, collaborators, daddy/daughter, mother/son, sisters, brothers, dancers, artists...
She has dark skin. She was alive during segregation. She is a priestess of Osun. She was raised Southern Baptist. I could go on forever. lol
Meeting her, learning about her life and beliefs, taught me the power of love, importantly, self love. This is a lesson that was never present in my life.
I was never greatly abused through childhood. I know my family loves me. It's just that I wasn't raised with the greatest foundations in communication, inwardly-directed introspection, and loving intimacy. You see, my life has been an interesting one, because when I was nine my mother decided to commit suicide. This left me with turbulence, new schools, custody battles, and a hurt family that to this day is still too pained to speak about her death and its effects, still felt today.
Obviously, I've also lived a life without a prominent mother figure. How has this affected my development as a individual being raised in Western society? Who knows? I don't. I notice that I am different from most people in social situations.
It feels like not having a mother in my life and living with my father who worked a lot, and living with a grandmother who mostly spoke Spanish (I didn't pick it up, unfortunately) left me without a lot of intimacy, or even the capability of being aware of that lack. I feel like that's why I'm drawn to a poly love style.
So meeting Valeria has really opened a doorway into myself where I'm free to learn, experiment, and explore, attempting to do no harm and operate within limitless Love.
Knowing her has freed me. So in that freedom I turned to Craigslist/casual encounters.
Lemme hear it: Awww... yeah.
Where else can you find opportunities to meet people and explore sexually? Everywhere sex and sexuality seem to be repressed, at least that's been my experience.
So anyway, I posted an ad yesterday titled: Let's get naked, talk, and masturbate!
And so a couple responded. We met up, we talked, we watched some favorite shows together, and played some video games. It was nice.
Being with Valeria has brought so many wonderful and new people into my life, but I am from a younger, nerdier/geekier culture, and so being around folks closer to my age is refreshing, since most of my school friends have drifted away.
So I found it pretty ironic to meet people through an ad kind of centered around casual sex, but instead we just ended up smokin' n' chillin'. What was interesting is that it was mainly she that had responded to my ad. It's unclear exactly how we all will move through this. They claimed to identify as swingers, but I'm not sure if communication is in place between them about what that looks like, or if anything that I'm looking for is of any interest to them.
What am I looking for?
Safe, consensual, sexual freedom
Friendship
Intimacy
Play
Naked people
So here I am the day afterwards, feeling awkward about texting her, not knowing if last night was just a random "few and far between" event. or if there is possibility for something fun, different, and magical. This is some romanticized BS, huh?
How am I supposed to approach this? One thing they mentioned when I asked the guy about how he felt about her playing with someone was that it's her call. Totally makes sense, right? But still, he is a part of the relationship, so for me, his feelings are relevant. They've been together for four years, so I can't imagine that he's truly so laissez-faire about this. Plus, is he interested in playing as well? How can these questions be asked without scaring people away? How can we talk about these things?
Thank you for reading my mind vomit.
DIC
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