Love from a distance

[Myrrhine1]

I'm curious about your thoughts on loving people from a distance (physical, social, or emotional). Could include lovers, romantic interest, platonic love, kinship, etc.

Mostly, I think I'm interested in the practice of love despite boundaries, when love isn't reciprocated or contact is impossible or otherwise undesirable.
Has the practice of this kind of love helped you develop in any way as a person?

Thoughts, stories, interesting reads?

 

[Ariakas]

I'm curious about your thoughts on loving people from a distance (physical, social, or emotional). Could include lovers, romantic interest, platonic love, kinship, etc.

Mostly, I think I'm interested in the practice of love despite boundaries, when love isn't reciprocated or contact is impossible or otherwise undesirable.
Has the practice of this kind of love helped you develop in any way as a person?

Thoughts, stories, interesting reads?

I am not built for it. I learned that in a previous relationship.

It isn't an exercise in development for me, I don't believe there is a higher level of understanding when taking part in of this type of relationship. While there are/were great parts to being in a relationship, distance is/was like torture for me. It doesn't suit my love style.

Friends are different, I have distance friends. We keep in touch, periodically, give updates etc. There is no "need" there to be close.

 

[YouAreHere]

I'm curious about your thoughts on loving people from a distance (physical, social, or emotional). Could include lovers, romantic interest, platonic love, kinship, etc.

Mostly, I think I'm interested in the practice of love despite boundaries, when love isn't reciprocated or contact is impossible or otherwise undesirable.
Has the practice of this kind of love helped you develop in any way as a person?

Thoughts, stories, interesting reads?

Chops can, and does, do this. He carried a torch for me for YEARS.

For me, romantic love doesn't really stay romantic love with distance. I need time with the person, or, at the very least, contact (online contact is a poor substitute, however). If I can't have the contact, that relationship can morph into a close friendship (which for me, like Ariakas, can do just swimmingly with little physical contact), but not remain anything like romantic love.

 

[PolyinPractice]

Chops can, and does, do this. He carried a torch for me for YEARS.

I think that's very possible, for emotional love to last through the years. I'm not sure in monogamous cases; I've been told by my monogamous friends that they are capable of loving someone for a long time, but it can die away if nothing happens. And it does die when they fall in love with a new person. But for poly, oh, my partner has carried affections for a person for....20 years?

 

[YouAreHere]

I've been told by my monogamous friends that they are capable of loving someone for a long time, but it can die away if nothing happens. And it does die when they fall in love with a new person. But for poly, oh, my partner has carried affections for a person for....20 years?

Yup. This.

For me, there needs to be some sort of reciprocation to keep it going. Otherwise, the focus goes elsewhere. Or away entirely.

 

[bofish]

I have been in numerous romantic situations where we could not "be" together. On the one hand, these relationships have been horribly painful. On the other hand, I have grown as person, as much, if not more, from these interactions as I have from requited love.

I'm kind of a "master" at loving distant people. Many of my loves have died, live far, or are otherwise unavailable. Do you have a specific question?