Rather anti-climatic/coming out

B

bookbug

New member
I have been involved in two triads. The first was wildly successful, coming to an end only after death; the other failed due to the low emotional IQ of one of the parties. I was so devastated after that one ended, that while I didn't flaunt it, for anyone who wanted to know who I was, I told them my history. It wasn't a calculated choice. I simply didn't care. My peer group at the time was comprised of business college instructors. They ranged from one woman who practiced BDSM, to another who found much comfort in her religious ideas. No one so much as raised an eyebrow about my polyamorous proclivities. Everyone accepted it as my personal choice.

I did have the advantage of always having my parents' acceptance. They'd had polyamorous relationships themselves, so I never had a lack of parental acceptance in regard to my choices. Despite my pain, this probably gave me more strength than those who operate without familial support. Also, I have no children, another issue which makes my revelations easy. I am the only one who has to face the consequences.

I wanted to post this because I hear so many people say they are afraid to reveal they who are. I am wondering how much of the fear is overdone?

I live in the heart of the Bible Belt, Wichita, Kansas.
 
Obviously, how "overdone" the fear is, is a matter of opinion. But we are out to our kids and their friends. Some of their parents are okay, a few are not.

Employers are aware, school, friends, family, etc.

Nobody really cares. Some are more curious than others at first, but in the long run, they are all busy living their lives.

I am aware of several other polyamorous people with children in our area who are out, and they have no issues, either.
 
This is something I have been thinking about lately. I am out as "theoretically" poly to quite a few people, but only my closest friends know about my other relationship. Both my guys are worried about my employment if anyone found out... I myself start to be less and less worried. I know that my reputation at work is good as an honest and reliable worker. Why would this change if they knew about my private life?
 
So far, no one has rejected me for it. I do, however, have one acquaintance for whom I've lost a lot of respect for the snide comments I get since I outed myself to her. Fortunately, we're not close.

When I started, and was on an NRE high with the mere fact that my loves were POSSIBLE, I was a bit disappointed that everyone didn't want to talk about with me. :D But I get it. I can understand how mono people feel threatened by me and my 'outness.'

I think if I were living with more than one partner full time, I would want to be more out (like at work). As I've aged, I've gotten more comfortable with the fact that not every piece of me is anyone's business. A lot of people I work with, I would NOT invite home to dinner. If that's true, then why would I want to tell them such things?

All that said, I have no kids to risk. There are nutted-up grandparents out there, with weird notions about what they need to protect their grandchildren from.
 
Yes. If I had children, I would probably be exceptionally cautious.

That said, I have found that people are pretty accepting. Like you, I don't discuss it with everyone. Perhaps my screening process is pretty good. :)
 
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