So much love to give

reece2014

reece2014

New member
Hello. I'm new here. I've been reading some posts and even commented on a few. It's very interesting to me how many people are in these poly relationships as I have only met one couple that would fit in this category. I am friends with a male/female married couple and occasionally go spend some quality time with them. It is 98% about sex and making each other feel good. I rarely speak to the husband but I do keep in touch almost weekly with the wife. They did ask me to move in with them at one point. They had a woman live with them in the past and it was mostly favorable they said. The woman was more into the wife though and it began to cause problems so she moved out.
I am free to do what I want. Kids grown, no relationship, etc. I do not want to live with the couple though. I like them but they are struggling financially and I don't want to take on their stresses.
My question is how do you meet people that are more open to the poly way of things? This forum is an attempt to reach out. I would really love to meet some people that are in open relationships but I don't want the drama. Unfortunately, it does seem that there is quite a bit of drama in these poly relationships. At least the ones that post in this forum anyway.
I did read a couple of the suggested books. I know that I would be a perfect fit in a poly household. I have so much love to give!
 
reece2014 said:
Unfortunately, it does seem that there is quite a bit of drama in these poly relationships. At least the ones that post in this forum anyway.
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One doesn't see many healthy poly relationships on online forums for the same reason that one doesn't see too many healthy people at a hospital. It seems to be a part of human nature to talk endlessly about what's wrong with something and very little about what's right with it.

That said, if you read the forums over, you will indeed see people that do appear to be in healthy, drama-light relationships. They just don't go on about it like those with problems do.

There's an old joke that sort of applies here:

A couple has a kid who's reached the age of five without saying a single word. By this time, the parents are frantic, and spend years and thousands of dollars trying to figure out what's wrong with him. Finally, they give up by the time the kid's turned ten and just learned to live with it.

One day they give the kid a cup of hot chocolate. The kid takes a sip and clearly says "This stuff sucks!" The parents are ecstatic, but once they calm down, they finally ask the kid why he's never said a single solitary word.

The kid replies "Up until now, everything was OK."

Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.

The best way to avoid drama in poly is the tried and true way to avoid drama in the mono world: don't get involved in a situation that was already dramatic before you came in to it. You probably won't fix it, you'll just get sucked into it and become just another player on the stage.
 
My life is so not full of drama.

There is none at all. On my blog I am always posting short posts because my life is quiet and boring.
 
CosmoMcKinley said:
One doesn't see many healthy poly relationships on online forums for the same reason that one doesn't see too many healthy people at a hospital. It seems to be a part of human nature to talk endlessly about what's wrong with something and very little about what's right with it.

That said, if you read the forums over, you will indeed see people that do appear to be in healthy, drama-light relationships. They just don't go on about it like those with problems do.

There's an old joke that sort of applies here:

A couple has a kid who's reached the age of five without saying a single word. By this time, the parents are frantic, and spend years and thousands of dollars trying to figure out what's wrong with him. Finally, they give up by the time the kid's turned ten and just learned to live with it.

One day they give the kid a cup of hot chocolate. The kid takes a sip and clearly says "This stuff sucks!" The parents are ecstatic, but once they calm down, they finally ask the kid why he's never said a single solitary word.

The kid replies "Up until now, everything was OK."

Good joke. Everybody laugh. Roll on snare drum. Curtains.

The best way to avoid drama in poly is the tried and true way to avoid drama in the mono world: don't get involved in a situation that was already dramatic before you came in to it. You probably won't fix it, you'll just get sucked into it and become just another player on the stage.
Click to expand...

I just have to give you total kudos for quoting Rorschach... That's been the best part of this forum today.
 
I don't have drama either...anymore. When I was a unicorn dating a couple I sure did. We did all the things wrong, all the things a triad of poly noobs can do wrong, we did wrong.

So, learning from the mistakes of others here is a good place to start.

Depending on your town, there might be a kink scene or poly scene you can join. There's a lot of overlap between the two so even if you're not kinky you might find poly people there to get to know. Wouldn't necessarily recommend a swingers' club though ;)

OK Cupid has worked wonders for me. There are def unicorn hunters in there but also many cool poly people.

If you have love to give, you'll naturally gather loving people around you!
 
Only kid and grandkid drama around here these days (and it's not "drama" as much as "growing up entertainment")

But-the result is-my blog often gets neglected because I'm far too busy living life.

As for meeting others; the best way-is to be out about who you are and what you want. Much like someone who is gay thinking that they are the "only one in town" because everyone is in the closet-the same happens with poly.

One place to find people who are more "out" about their lifestyles is in LGBT gatherings.
You can also search on meetup.com and facebook for "poly", "polyamory" and see what you come up with.
 
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