lorettab31
New member
The adventure begins. . .
Many years ago I started dating this wonderful man, C.
We had a few ups and downs for the first 4 years, then we took a break for 4 years, reunited and moved in together many years ago now. We are very different and it took time to adjust. We really love one another, but relationships can be hard.
One way we are different is in how we handle emotions. I tend to want only happy emotions, all the time. When I am not happy, I look for ways to fix things, so that I can continue being happy. C likes to linger in emotions and ride them out. He likes empathy and cuddles, and lots of talking about the emotion as well has a lot of cuddling. I did Not handle this well. Truthfully I hated it and did Not want to deal with it. I was always trying to fix the problem, rather then being empathetic. When he would cry I would feel like I kicked a puppy and I found it extremely frustrating to not be able to work on the fixing part. Since I did Not want to be supportive of this and he wanted to process emotions this way, I told him "You need to find someone else to this with you. Not me."
We were living together at this time. We both agreed we wanted a long term relationship together.
So the poly lifestyle begins. . .
He did a lot of dating looking for a second partner. I was very busy with work, family, home, and hobbies. So I did not date. I was completely satisfied with my life. I was very secure in our relationship. Things were going mostly okay. He got a lot of dates. Most people did not last too long. Many tried to talk him into leaving me and being with them instead. His integrity and loyalty are two characteristics I have always valued. Eventually he found a second partner N.
About 8 years into our poly life, I decided I might like to date others also. I had limited success. I did eventually have a 3 year second boyfriend, which was great. New boyfriend G was very attentive and yummy and the sex was incredible! =) I've had other people in my life, but few lasted long.
So mostly for the past 14 years we have lived in a V relationship. It works pretty well. Ideally I would have preferred to be close friends with Cs other partner, but that probably wont ever happen. We simply get along.
We have a duplex together and I have half mostly to myself these days. While N is the downstairs girlfriend / partner. It works for us. I like my space. We are getting along okay. Everyone is pretty happy with the current situation. Things are good. One thing this life has never been is boring. =)
My lifestyle has kinda evolved. I think I am more of a open relationship person then a strictly poly person historically. I kept 5 categories of people I would see for many years. Booty calls, were just for sex. Playmates were also just for sex, but on a regular basis. FWB were primarily friendships that occasionally included sex. Lovers were deeper intimacy and dating, as well as sex. Boyfriends were the long term relationships, for everything. It works. These days I prefer to have Lovers and Boyfriends, but others may happen. I did find a new lover a little over a year ago. A is yummy! He pretty much has it all sweet and sexy. . .
Many years ago I started dating this wonderful man, C.
We had a few ups and downs for the first 4 years, then we took a break for 4 years, reunited and moved in together many years ago now. We are very different and it took time to adjust. We really love one another, but relationships can be hard.
One way we are different is in how we handle emotions. I tend to want only happy emotions, all the time. When I am not happy, I look for ways to fix things, so that I can continue being happy. C likes to linger in emotions and ride them out. He likes empathy and cuddles, and lots of talking about the emotion as well has a lot of cuddling. I did Not handle this well. Truthfully I hated it and did Not want to deal with it. I was always trying to fix the problem, rather then being empathetic. When he would cry I would feel like I kicked a puppy and I found it extremely frustrating to not be able to work on the fixing part. Since I did Not want to be supportive of this and he wanted to process emotions this way, I told him "You need to find someone else to this with you. Not me."
We were living together at this time. We both agreed we wanted a long term relationship together.
So the poly lifestyle begins. . .
He did a lot of dating looking for a second partner. I was very busy with work, family, home, and hobbies. So I did not date. I was completely satisfied with my life. I was very secure in our relationship. Things were going mostly okay. He got a lot of dates. Most people did not last too long. Many tried to talk him into leaving me and being with them instead. His integrity and loyalty are two characteristics I have always valued. Eventually he found a second partner N.
About 8 years into our poly life, I decided I might like to date others also. I had limited success. I did eventually have a 3 year second boyfriend, which was great. New boyfriend G was very attentive and yummy and the sex was incredible! =) I've had other people in my life, but few lasted long.
So mostly for the past 14 years we have lived in a V relationship. It works pretty well. Ideally I would have preferred to be close friends with Cs other partner, but that probably wont ever happen. We simply get along.
We have a duplex together and I have half mostly to myself these days. While N is the downstairs girlfriend / partner. It works for us. I like my space. We are getting along okay. Everyone is pretty happy with the current situation. Things are good. One thing this life has never been is boring. =)
My lifestyle has kinda evolved. I think I am more of a open relationship person then a strictly poly person historically. I kept 5 categories of people I would see for many years. Booty calls, were just for sex. Playmates were also just for sex, but on a regular basis. FWB were primarily friendships that occasionally included sex. Lovers were deeper intimacy and dating, as well as sex. Boyfriends were the long term relationships, for everything. It works. These days I prefer to have Lovers and Boyfriends, but others may happen. I did find a new lover a little over a year ago. A is yummy! He pretty much has it all sweet and sexy. . .
