RatpackFan
New member
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Last edited:
Newbie saying hello and needing to offload
- Thread starter RatpackFan
- Start date
WhatHappened
Active member
Do you actually know his wife? Have you ever met her? Similar things were being said about me by my cheating husband. Similar things are said about probably 90% or more of the betrayed wives/husband by their cheating spouses, on the infidelity board I frequent. Often enough, it turns out not to be true. Funny how that works.
Another thing to consider is that, even if you've met her personally, you're still seeing
The fact is, you and your boyfriend are cheating on this woman. You're lying to her, deceiving her, looking down your collective noses at her, and telling the world how Very Awful she is. Bad, bad, bad. Yet you hope that somehow she'll come to accept you sleeping with her husband and be just fine with that? Are you hoping she'll also be fine with your long list of criticisms of her and your long list of things you find problematic in her character while apparently lauding yourself and your boyfriend as Better People TM?
If she comes to accept you sleeping with her husband, are the three of you (you, your husband, your boyfriend) going to stop badmouthing her character and include her, or is it going to continue to be the three of you socializing, discussing how Very Awful she is, and Very Good the three of you are, and expecting that somehow this is not going to hurt her immensely, and that somehow, she'll just keep smiling and be nice, and think this is all great?
Just some things to consider in your goal of her being okay with this.
Another thing to consider is that, even if you've met her personally, you're still seeing
- 1) only what he tells you (if she was out of sorts, is it really because she's inherently a bad person, or is it because she's been putting up with his cheating and backstabbing her for years? Just as an example of how what we don't see is affecting what we do see, and totally changes the picture.) And
- 2) we often interpret a person's behavior through the filter of what we've already been told.
I'm a little lost here. If she wants a baby, why would she have sex only once a year?
The fact is, you and your boyfriend are cheating on this woman. You're lying to her, deceiving her, looking down your collective noses at her, and telling the world how Very Awful she is. Bad, bad, bad. Yet you hope that somehow she'll come to accept you sleeping with her husband and be just fine with that? Are you hoping she'll also be fine with your long list of criticisms of her and your long list of things you find problematic in her character while apparently lauding yourself and your boyfriend as Better People TM?
If she comes to accept you sleeping with her husband, are the three of you (you, your husband, your boyfriend) going to stop badmouthing her character and include her, or is it going to continue to be the three of you socializing, discussing how Very Awful she is, and Very Good the three of you are, and expecting that somehow this is not going to hurt her immensely, and that somehow, she'll just keep smiling and be nice, and think this is all great?
Just some things to consider in your goal of her being okay with this.
IndieSolo
Active member
Awww, you scared the newbie away with some unvarnished, honest feedback. Sigh.
Oh well, I didn't see the original message, but it sounds like a lot of drama, judging by your answer. I hope it all works out. Maybe she'll come back and try to be brave enough to write again and take whatever feedback is given - we're all strangers, anyway.
Oh well, I didn't see the original message, but it sounds like a lot of drama, judging by your answer. I hope it all works out. Maybe she'll come back and try to be brave enough to write again and take whatever feedback is given - we're all strangers, anyway.
Marcus
Well-known member
Looks like WH dosed the OP with some reality there. I imagine most people are not used to being handed honest assessments of their situation and it could come as quite a shock.
The fact that the poster came back to delete it makes me think that the response was actually read - which might have been enough to get them on a path to self improvement. That's what I'm going to tell myself this morning.
IndieSolo
Active member
Yes, I was thinking the same thing. Something struck a nerve. I hope it did some good.