So I made a mistake

Q

quiet2girl2

New member
I entered into what I thought was a poly relationship with someone who wasn't poly.

oops. my bad. i'll never do that again. I had feelings he was just having sex.
lesson learned
 
Just because he didn't want more than a sexual relationship with you, it doesn't mean that he isn't poly. Being poly doesn't mean you love everyone you come into contact with, it doesn't mean you love everyone you have, or want to have sex with. It only means that there is the potential for loving more than one person at any given period. Just because he doesn't love you, it doesn't make him any less poly.
 
And any time someone says they're "polyamorous" and turns out they are a douchebag, that PROVES that non-monogamy doesn't work and that "poly people" are liars and predators. Because there are no liars, predators or douchebags in the "regular" monogamous scene.

It's like when a woman gets dumped by some asshole dude and says she's "swearing off men and becoming a lesbian".. Because lesbians never cheat or lie or dump their partners with no warning... Never mind that you're not even attracted to women and don't even like the taste of your own pussy, let alone someone else's.
 
He's not a douche, and he never identified as poly. He's just a guy who found himself involved with a married woman with the consent of her husband.
 
quiet2girl2 said:
He's just a guy who found himself involved with a married woman with the consent of her husband.
Click to expand...

That can be quite a shock if he discovered it after falling in love. Did you disclose your relationship arrangement to him before you got involved?
 
I think what she's saying is that he found out she was poly and had consent to date, so they started seeing each other, and then she developed deeper feelings for him, only to discover he was in it just for the sex, or at least that is what she perceives.

Do I have that right?

Quietgirl, I'm sorry it turned out to be a sucky situation for you. If you want support or feedback on anything that happened, let us know. However, I have to say that we wouldn't have to try and figure out what you're talking about if you had only given us more info to go on! If you want to discuss something on a message board, it's better not to be so cryptic.
 
sorry about being so cryptic. I think this post was born out of a need to vent and wasn't very thought out.
But yes Nycindie, you are correct however you spin it I ended up much deeper than he did. One day I'm convincing myself that I made it all up, that there was never anything there to begin with and the next day I'm thinking that he put up a wall to keep himself from being the one who got hurt.

What am i looking for in this forum? I guess I just need to talk about it so I can finally move past that situation and go on with my life.
 
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