Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

Someone deleted a post above my last one. I'm really not crazy!

After charging all night, my phone actually turned on yesterday morning, and DarkKnight was able to plug it in to my laptop and do a full backup. Then it died again and hasn't been turned on since. I started filing a claim on my insurance through AT&T, but they were going to charge me $116 for a replacement, so I shut that down and I am going to move forward with replacing the battery on Monday. Until then, I am struggling!

I got hit on at the game store last night by some stranger. I was painting and he was overly friendly. I think mostly he was a clueless guy who wanted some female attention. I was the only girl in the place. Asked way too many nonsensical questions and making statements about things that he liked, trying to find a commonality to talk about. I didn't feel flattered, I just felt annoyed. Not my type and not the right time in my life.

I did make some progress with my painting - I got the metalwork all painted on my 3 Hunter models and started the blue basecoat on one. I glued a lot of broken models.

Today I am going to paint some more, I think. PunkRock and I are going to an open house in town around 1 pm, and we have to buy some cat litter. The new kittens don't like the Feline Pine and keep pooping out of the box. Not something I find fun to clean up!
 
Where did my day go??? PunkRock and I liked the open house, but it was way too small. Everything was newly redone, and it had a wonderful area to use as a paint studio and workshop for the guys. Overall though, it was a solid pass due to the space restrictions. The realtor was salivating over us as new clients, but PunkRock did tell her we weren't really on the market at the moment! She asked if she could put us on her mailing list and we were ok with that. I actually sent her an email a few minutes ago.

I did some more painting tonight. Two friends from the game store came over separately and we had a short visit with each of them, talking about upcoming WarMachine plans. I did laundry. Both of the air conditioners that WarMan left behind are out of the windows and stored away for the season. PunkRock and I made some chicken salad for dinner tomorrow. Um...I emptied both cat litter boxes in the cat room upstairs.

My life is exciting. lol
 
Up early, for no reason. Ok, I guess I needed to pee and then I was just AWAKE. I decided to come downstairs and focus on my to do list. It seems really weird to type it up on my laptop, instead of on my phone. Yeah, that's on my list - drive to Chambersburg and get my phone fixed. :)

I need to take care of my water bill, which involves writing a check and physically dropping it off downtown. That's lame, but that's how it works here. I need to go to the bank and do some transfer shenanigans with my son's money and then mail out his physical rent check. I have to grade all the quizzes for my Astronomy class this week, and prepare for class today, which is at 1 pm. I have no idea what video we are watching or what my lesson plan is. I know the topic this week is stars and constellations, but other than that, I haven't looked at my lecture. Laundry is still hanging over my head. PunkRock brought up the stuff last night, and I hung it all up, and then realized that half the basket had not been washed, so I put away some stinky stuff. Lovely! We washed one load, and then someone took it out of the dryer and put it back on top of the dirty. So PunkRock thought it was all clean. Now I am squicked out and want to rip down ALL my hanging laundry, because I don't know what is clean and what isn't. I spent a few minutes sniffing everything and wanting to cry last night. Ugh.

I received a message back from the real estate agent, and she said based on the info I gave her, we probably want to be looking and placing an offer either in December or January. So that isn't too far off! I feel good about DarkKnight's current mortgage credit scores, since I bought the 3B pack from myfico.com. They give you not just the current Fico 08 scores, but ones specific for Mortgages, Auto Loans, etc. Which is interesting, since the numbers are not at all the same. Anyway, I found a code online that had us only paying $30 instead of $50 for the reports and scores.

We are still waiting for the single remaining medical debt to be removed from DarkKnight's report. That should happen this week, and we should get a letter sometime next week, I think. Then he has an old address I would like to dispute off on two reports, but that isn't necessary, really. It would just make things more clean. There is another tradeline that is bugging me, because it is really too old to be reporting, but it isn't really hurting anything. MAYBE I will dispute it, depending on the timeframe. Really though, everything is ready for us to set up an appointment with our bank and see if they are interested in pre-approving us. :) Oh my goodness guys, please don't make me have to pack up this house to move!

This weekend PunkRock has Saturday and Sunday off, and we are staying overnight in Baltimore for his cousin's wedding. We plan on going to the Walter's Art Museum on Sunday. They have a Day of the Dead thing going on which should be cool to see, as well as an exhibit featuring medieval European art. I think I might bring something of my dad's to place on the altar for the Day of the Dead.
 
I have to say that I think yesterday's Astronomy class was the best ever. All of the kids were prepared, the discussion was great, and they KNEW things. We ended up watching a Season 2 episode from our Universe DVD collection - just an episode called Constellations. It was well done and interesting.

I did talk to the kids about scheduling a Biology class next year. I had several emails and messages later in the day - and not just from parents of the kids in class! Word travels fast! I am certain I have enough kids to fill one class and more than likely I will be teaching two sessions. The issue now for me is that it is a 14 week offering. So starting the first week in January has us ending the first week in April. My move is DEFINITELY going to impact things, but I am going to go ahead and plan. To start in January, I need to purchase specimens for dissection in December. I am not too excited about asking parents for cash right before Christmas! Actually one of the DMs I received was from a mom telling me she was going to cry about how she could swing it financially. I told her I am going to be EXTREMELY FLEXIBLE with payments. For all my established families, I will probably just ask for a $50 deposit with the balance due the end of January. That way I will have enough to purchase supplies and no one has budget issues. Especially parents who have two kids they might enroll - I am not going to extort cash and fuck with people's holidays! That said, I still need to be paid eventually. :)

I am not sure I mentioned how much a I dislike teaching Biology. Sigh. It's just gross, and the smell fills up my house.

Well the house my guys and I liked in the next town over is now off market. I am a little bit bummed but not really upset. I am interested in seeing what becomes available in the near future! Yesterday when I was at the bank, I asked about mortgages, and I was told that their guy is based in Frederick, but that he would travel up to our town for a meeting with us just as soon as we want to schedule it. I got handed two business cards and two people in the small office seemed pumped up and excited by my question. I wonder if they get a kickback or referral! I won't schedule a meeting until I get back from NYC.

Oh, thought I should share that the new litter fixed the poo issues with the kittens. All of them are now using the box with an entire day free of issues. Fuck Feline Pine! I am glad it only cost $8.50 for the bag with a $9 mail in rebate.

I don't have anything important scheduled today on my calendar, so I think I am going to deep clean my living room. I am hoping to use this move to be even more minimalist, so part of that is paring down stuff so I don't have to pack so much crap. Just thinking about packing makes me feel tired and want to cry! Actually, I need to do some more Ancestry stuff too - I feel like that is getting away from me and time is ticking down.
 
I decided not to do the living room and instead packed up the closet that I currently share with PunkRock. All my summer stuff filled up a Rubbermaid tote and I have two bags to donate. Yay!

I am feeling out of sorts though today, kinda headachy but not enough to take medicine - like I didn't get enough sleep? I did though, so I dunno. I haven't showered yet so I should probably do that. I am also kind of craving Indian food but I am broke as a joke after paying to get my cell phone fixed and then I made a budgeting error that cost me $100. I thought my water bill was $330 but it was actually $430. Ugh. Covered it but dropping $60 or so on Indian food tonight is probably not a good idea. DarkKnight would give me one of his disapproving looks. lol PunkRock would ask when do I want to go get it. Lmao It would taste good though...
 
For those who care, I ended up having frozen pizza for dinner last night. lol Gotta save my dollars for this weekend trip with PunkRock. :)

Today I have my second Astronomy class of the week. I just remembered that two of my students are arriving early, at 11:30, so I really need to get my butt moving this morning. I'm finishing up my chai and sort of watching an episode of the trivia game show The Chase.

No big plans for today, other than teaching. I am hoping to play a board game with DarkKnight later tonight. :)
 
I am up early today, since I had a sleepover with DarkKnight and he had work this morning. PunkRock doesn't work today until noon or something, but rather than bug him while he is catching up on his sleep, I came downstairs and watched another episode of Black Mirror. Wow y'all - it's REALLY good. I've watched the entire first season and one episode into season 2 now.

I packed up a couple of miscellaneous things in my game room this morning too - little Star Wars figures and some of Ash of Evil Dead fame. Stuff that isn't important and that can sit in a box for a bit. I honestly need to clear off my scrapbook desk, as it's piled up with photo frames. Those could go into boxes as well - I will be in need of my desk soon, with the ancestry stuff and all. But some of the crap can be stored away. Cleaning and clearing this room is kind of important, as I use it all the time for my classes, but also we'll be in here for Thanksgiving, so I'd like it not looking quite so cluttered.

I'm actually going to spend some time on Ancestry this morning I think. I also need to structure my budget for the rest of the year. Our cat Milton needs a vet visit - he is due for his rabies shot in December. PunkRock has been paying me extra each time he gets a check, for a ton of new medical bills. I have to shell out over $400 in a couple of weeks for that. Stuff just keeps coming, but that is life, I suppose! I actually have a framework down for the budget, but I need to start popping in these extras. Sigh. I also need to think about expenses related to house-hunting. If we find a property we like, we will have to shell out for a home inspector - hopefully not too many times! And of course, there's Christmas!

I was actually starting to get out of sorts about Christmas last night. I told DarkKnight, and he was like, oh, you're nervous about how to pay for it? That made me feel silly, because that was not even an issue in my mind. We don't go overboard at Christmas, especially so now that my kids are pretty much grown. Even when they were younger, I never, ever put Christmas on a credit card. No, it was the old "I don't like gifts" thing. I love Christmas and money is not a problem right now, but for whatever reason, this issue decided to fuck with me last night. Which was really weird, because this year for my birthday I was really, really good. Not even a smidge of worry. I was thinking that I had gotten to a place where I felt comfortable with DarkKnight and PunkRock, but now that I am feeling this anxiety over the holidays, maybe not. It sucks to think that I think that everything is better, but then it comes up that it isn't. I need to schedule another therapy appointment, but I've been focusing on WarMan and healing from the breakup and all of that in my sessions. I suppose it is a good idea to jump back to this subject, as that was one of the initial issues that had me start therapy at the beginning of the year.

Thinking about it though, it's all really connected. Attachment issues don't just disappear. And it makes some sort of sense that when I've lost a significant relationship that old stuff might be stirred around and not be easy to push back. The other day I was working on a document of all the red flags in my relationship with WarMan, and why I didn't be proactive with each one. Or, if I believed at the time I had focused on them and solved them, why did I allow them to pile up? Some of them I was even cautioned against on this journal - lovebombing and the like. Ugh. Though, I don't believe this exercise was meant to be a list of all the ways I was stupid and fell for someone that was all wrong for me. I think it was to help me work through each individual issue and see how, if at all, it relates back to my wonky attachment. Like, maybe I should have done something different?

I like to think I am actually ok for the most part. I mean, my relationships with DarkKnight and PunkRock progressed quickly but they have been amazing and fulfilling and I feel so very happy when I think of either of them.

Ugh, you know what? I don't want to hash this out here right now. It's bad enough to have to read a list in a private document. Maybe in the future I will share all my shit that I'm shoveling. Not now though.

Anyway, yeah. I DO believe therapy has been helpful. I just wish it didn't cost me $60 a pop when I go - especially now that our flexible spending account is exhausted for the year. It's easy to rationalize to cut it and do something else, but it is worthwhile to me.
 
I've never done a list like that. After my ex-boyfriend broke up with me, I think I would have just used something like a list of red flags and why I didn't pay attention to them as a way to beat myself up. It does kind of sound like you are struggling with it also, even if you aren't conciously trying to use it as a way to beat yourself up. I am curious about the motivation behind creating the document.
 
Well, there are a couple of reasons for it, but mostly being that I do much better with working things out when I can read, write and ponder. I make lists constantly. This isn't something that would ordinarily be out of my comfort zone. The therapist wants me to be able to articulate clearly where I feel my attachment issues may have contributed to issues that may/may not have led to the breakup, and this is a precise way to do that. Definitely not a beat myself up sort of thing. However, it also is VERY clear to me as I am going through it - there are a zillion times I should have stepped back and cut things off. A single issue with WarMan's friend Monkey would have sent anyone running. and there were MULTIPLE crazypants times. Definitely in future relationships, just someone telling me that their previous dating partners never seem to get along with their "best friend" - yeah, what? You don't think that's a sign of some sort? Sigh.

Anyway, I don't want to get into the list here right now. Maybe after I've done some more work with the therapist and feel more confident about where I am in my headspace!

Today did not and has not gone well. My daughter's cat Stuart has been ill. He has been vomiting pretty much after every single meal for the past week, and today I finally told my daughter that he needed to be seen at the vet. We took him in and he was dehydrated. They couldn't see anything with just a check up sort of exam, so we have now started shelling out cash. He had a series of X-rays done, to rule out that he may have an obstruction. Unfortunately, they couldn't get a good picture of some sections, but they do believe it looks clear? I don't know. I am going to go back over there in a few minutes to take a look myself and have them explain. We also paid for a full senior blood panel - to check for infection, but also to rule out pancreatitis and stomach inflammation. They are supposed to be giving him fluids, and some shots to help with his nausea.

This has not been fun.
 
Well fuck.

There is an obstruction at the opening to Stuart's lower intestine. They said it wasn't clear enough to identify what it is. They also said his small intestine looked strange and off to the side, whatever that means. The vet tech said that the next step would be to do a barium series of X-rays tomorrow throughout the day to be very clear about the obstruction, to see if it's a total block or just a partial, so then they would know prior to surgery.

Only my daughter can't afford the surgery. It's like $1500. So at this point, she paid $363 for the X-rays and blood test. The barium series is an additional $250. The vet tech says we should do it to have piece of mind, to see what the obstruction is for sure before putting him to sleep. The euthanasia is $50.

Fuck.

When DarkKnight and I brought our daughter home from the children's home to adopt her, she was 10. She is almost 19 now. We went and got this cat 2 days after she came home, to give her something to love that was safe and would be there for her while trying to learn how to live in a family again. She had been in this group home for more than 2 years. She picked Stuart out herself - he jumped right up in her lap and just LOVED her. He's turned into a big fat lazybones, but we all love him. Even WarMan, who was allergic to cats, would talk to him affectionately. He called him Potato.

This is just so much garbage. He is such a good boy and this blows.
 
I'm so sorry, Bluebird. My condolences to you and your daughter. Pets are family in my house. ((Hugs)) for all of you.
 
Thanks. My daughter opted to pay for the barium x-rays, so we are waiting now to hear what exactly the obstruction is - whether it is something he swallowed, or something that grew there. :(

At the urging of my friends, I started a Go Fund Me account. If anyone would like the link, I would be happy to share it in a DM. Right now we have it set to help raise $1600, but we are hoping that the surgery won't be at the higher end of the range. There is really zero way we can afford this without funding, unfortunately.

I seriously feel like a jerkface even asking for help, as we normally do have a cushion. But we prepaid for the two trips that are scheduled, and we can't charge ANYTHING due to the upcoming mortgage pre-approval. It just sucks all the way around.

Anyway, thanks for reading.
 
I am sorry I work in Veterinary medicine. I would suggest care credit since anything over $200 would be 6 months no interest. But I see you don't want to do that.
 
Update! Stuart is home! His results came back that it was a hair tie that he swallowed. With the new x-rays, they have seen that it has started moving through his GI tract, and the vet is recommending waiting on surgery, to see if it will pass on its own. Apparently it may have been hung up previously, but it is moving now. He's going to be on a restrictive diet for the next week, and we need to keep an eye on his poops. If no passage in the next few days, more x-rays will be ordered and we will then see where it is at.

Hopefully the surgery will not need to be scheduled - we are all crying in relief over here!

*****

I am familiar with Care Credit, as it is suggested every time we go to the vet. I know nothing about the credit amounts they hand out, nor what the interest rates are. I really try not to ever put anything on credit if we can help it - in this instance though, I would have if it would have been necessary, excepting the entire mortgage thing happening so soon. I really struggled yesterday and today with balancing the thought of my daughter's cat dying and whether or not we would be buying a house. Fuck that. It was awful.

The relief felt here now is just wonderful.

This afternoon we actually received the last medical deletion on the credit report that was remaining - so that was also good news.
 
What a relief that it looks like it will come out on its own.

Btw, with CareCredit, there is no interest charged for whatever promotional period they offer, as long as you make the payments by the due date every month. You can have the vet submit for you, they check your credit and give you an answer right then and there. You get approved for a set dollar amount, and they tell you how soon you have to pay it off. I got it once when my cat needed expensive tests that I couldn't afford. With my bad credit, they approved me for a 6-mo. deal, but you'd probably get one for longer. I think they go up to 24 months. It sure came in handy for me when I was living in Brokeville. I think you can also use it for eyeglasses or dental or something else.
 
Last edited:
If you do need the money for the surgery please share the gofundme link on here. I'd like to contribute if I can from the UK. Best wishes.
 
nycindie said:
What a relief that it looks like it will come out on its own.

Btw, with CareCredit, there is no interest charged for whatever promotional period they offer, as long as you make the payments by the due date every month. You can have the vet submit for you, they check your credit and give you an answer right then and there. You get approved for a set dollar amount, and they tell you how soon you have to pay it off. I got it once when my cat needed expensive tests that I couldn't afford. With my bad credit, they approved me for a 6-mo. deal, but you'd probably get one for longer. I think they go up to 24 months. It sure came in handy for me when I was living in Brokeville. I think you can also use it for eyeglasses or dental or something else.
Click to expand...

Actually the doctors office sets the promo rate. Most offer the 6 mo no interest. Care credit charges us HUGE fees bit we want animals to get the care they need so we suck it up. But it is nice to be able to offer clients a payment option. The down side to Care Credit is that if you don't pay it within the set time frame the interest rate is 26.9% and they charge that interest on what you spent on day one. Also if your purchase is under $200 the same thing. They have also upped their requirements for qualifying.
 
Yeah, I don't want to waste a hard pull on my credit that will hurt right before mortgage shopping. And then a new card will also throw off the average age of accounts, furthering hurting things. Add all that to the utilization rate - having a maxed out card - yikes! If we didn't have a major purchase coming up, I would have considered it, but it's just bananas otherwise. The no interest thing is definitely nice!

Confused - I will PM you the link. I don't want to post it publically since it has my real name attached. Not that I'm paranoid, but it just seems more prudent!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top