Returning To The New Normal

The sex I did does not seem to be an obstacle. Hero has not asked a lot of questions. He says if another mans penis is in me whats the difference if its one, two, three, which orifice, etc. Sex is sex period. I think his feeling on that stems from he had no hang ups knowing I was pretty slutty in college when we met as well as he is not feeling inadequate like some men would. None of the stupid questions about "size" or "did you O",
Click to expand...

Hi Sexyserb - just a comment to say that from my perspective (as another hetero cis male) - I suspect there is a lot of truth in your assessment. It certainly resonates with me.

In the process of coming to terms with Becky having sex with another man (after she asked me to open our marriage - story in sig file below for any are not familiar with the tale, and are interested), this concept was a key component for me. Becky probably had a bit more than her fair share of fun in the sack in college - so was it really a big deal if she had another penis in her.??... It's sex... (and in our particular case, it was an ex college bf, so it wasn't even a different one).

Also - in regard to what positions, orifices, etc - again, as you stated, sex is sex. I've always though of negotiated poly restrictions on what sexual activities were allowed with secondary partners was just kind of silly. Aside from the obvious fact that the primary is not there to enforce the rule, it's all just sex.... (excluding std concerns, of course).

Just a thought or two. Al
 
Al.

Thanks for your input.

Also - in regard to what positions, orifices, etc - again, as you stated, sex is sex. I've always though of negotiated poly restrictions on what sexual activities were allowed with secondary partners was just kind of silly. Aside from the obvious fact that the primary is not there to enforce the rule, it's all just sex.... (excluding std concerns, of course).

I believe you and Hero have a much more realistic thought process on this than a lot of men. just my opinion, but to me the real issues that destroy relationships that are non monogamous are the constant moving of the goal posts on the other stuff that the mono or less committed partner is then forced to either accept with no compromise or end the relationship. When all the wants become needs is where the trouble starts.

I am still struggling to get him to be as playful in the bedroom as before. I think it because of what we used to do pillow talk only on I went and did and I think he does not want to bring that into our sex life anymore. Lots of sex but still not like before. Not sure if I am clear but I don't want to do a TMI
 
On a happier note. Our new doggy is doing fine. One little dust up with one of the Irish girls but not a major issue. Still being careful.
Leaving Thursday for Texas to Final Four this week end. Hero has business associates who got us seats . Thats all I know but Hero is a happy camper.
Once this is over, then its on to hockey. The sports never end. Thank heavens I love sports too and all of our kids were great athletes like their Dad.

I really really want to talk to him, communicate as they would say, about how to bring the playfulness back to our intimacy. Just not sure how to go about it. I am so damm direct that I am afraid I will come across as a complainer. And I don’t think I should be doing the complaining about anything g right now.

I also have to possibly dump some girlfriends who are not great influences. I’ll have to figure that out sometime soon also.

Anyway, off to Texas and for those of you that follow basketball I’m hoping for more Loyola miracles.
 
sexyserb said:
I really really want to talk to him, communicate as they would say, about how to bring the playfulness back to our intimacy. Just not sure how to go about it. I am so damm direct that I am afraid I will come across as a complainer. And I don’t think I should be doing the complaining about anything g right now.
Click to expand...

This might not be a "talk about" thing so much as a "do" thing - I mean, I don't know how you define playful for the two of you, but if you start an encounter in that mode, I could see him taking you up on the (implicit) offer there...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top