Lots of change all at once

I've always suspected MM's story wasn't real. The insistence that all 6 of them always sleep in one bed...that's just not how sleep works!

She's a good writer, though.
 
MeeraReed said:
She's a good writer, though.
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Right? I was quite sympathetic to her... well, actually the author is likely a guy :)
This last thread gave it away (well, I didn't follow all of them), too much focus on weird sex, and the psychology of her interaction with the youngest .. eh.
 
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For those who missed this thread over in the Spirituality section:

majormerrick said:
My ex and his family are part of a small sect of Christianity that has a unique set of beliefs...I’ve been in love with him for 15 years... In order to have a relationship with him and become part of his household... I would have to officially convert to following their spiritual path. The word "cult" could possibly be used for this particular religious group.

I think he understands that my conversion would mostly be formal... My problem is, I just can't be convinced that their beliefs are the truth. They have some interesting regulations about how women are supposed to dress, groom, and behave. They support their statements with verses from the text, but I don't see that it adds up. So...is it possible to simply say that I convert to make the relationship work, or do I somehow have to convince myself of their point of view?

He converted mostly because of his two wives....so for him to marry me is not necessarily a violation, even if I'm just going through the motions. My standard is "do what works for me" which means that I'm basically my own authority. Most religions focus on pleasing an outside authority, which always struck me as a futile effort. ...Now, I think I might prefer to fit in quietly for another chance with someone I've loved for so long.

Spiritually, making a compromise just doesn't make a lot of difference to me... which is what tends to make me ethically flexible... Which is why I’m asking questions. But at this point, I’m also feeling like I’m going against my own grain by not being with him. I’ve always followed my heart... I love my GFs, and I love my ex.
Poly seems to be a way to make it all happen.


When I woke up this morning, I was cuddled up in his arms with my girls laying next to me, and his girls there too. He had the box with the ring he gave me years ago, and he proposed to me... Of course, I said yes, even though I would have preferred a bit more time. I've thought it through, and while I can live with the added issues of the church, I can't live without him.
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So there it is... "poly seems to be a way to make it all happen".

Along with converting to a cult religion (in name only) whose beliefs she doesn't particularly agree with, in order to further a personal romantic and sexual agenda.

I don't know about anyone else, but to me, this appears to be the height of hypocrisy, religious and otherwise.
 
lunabunny said:
For those who missed this thread over in the Spirituality section:



So there it is... "poly seems to be a way to make it all happen".

Along with converting to a cult religion (in name only) whose beliefs she doesn't particularly agree with, in order to further a personal romantic and sexual agenda.

I don't know about anyone else, but to me, this appears to be the height of hypocrisy, religious and otherwise.
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Right; and "her" "husband" is completely cool with having his sexual/religious transgressions discussed in detail with internet strangers "as long as no one else knows" LOL.


My husband actually asked me today when I mentioned our conversation on here, "Why do you spend time on this? What good does it do to antagonize people?" Which, judging by everybody's reactions in this thread, is what's going on.
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Mission accomplished, Major.
 
This cult is no more or less believable than some other cults I know about through experience, including one that I lost one of my cousins to, or the one that my other cousin+spouse+13 kids belongs to, or the cult-looking left lesbi group that flashes across my OKC every now and then with a huge disclaimer that they don't believe in compartmentalizing relationships and to join one is to join the whole family or something. There are more small- to mid-sized cults sprinkled around rural America than you might believe. Also lol at one person's Christianity being more or less internally inconsistent than another's.

That said, I don't see how anything about MM's situation is ETHICAL nonmonogamy.
 
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Here is another of MajorMerrick's posts from the Spirituality & Polyamory section, which I had missed:

Well, the whole thing just got real today. My girls (sneaky, devious, adorable little things) have been in on this for a while. When I woke up this morning, I was cuddled up in his arms with my girls laying next to me, and his girls there too. He had the box with the ring he gave me years ago, and he proposed to me

Of course, I said yes, even though I would have preferred a bit more time. Then again, time wouldn't have changed my answer. Since I am not a virgin, our engagement will last 40 days (more like 42-ish), and then I'll have to go through the marriage rituals. I'm happy and really scared all at the same time. My GF#1 is visibly relieved, since she's in love with his first wife and hasn't been able to fully express herself about it. Watching her happiness is totally precious.

I've thought it through, and while I can live with the added issues of the church, I can't live without him. I think the trick is going to be to adapt to my new duties, join our houses, and do my best to learn to love the other girls. His second wife is a lot like my GF#2 - quiet, simple, and easygoing. His first wife is a diva, and somewhat neurotic. I like her, but she is *extremely* high maintenance. This is going to be an adventure.

Okay, I believe that there are all sort of weird cults & religious communes in the U.S., but I don't believe this is a real story about real people. The way MM describes "her" girlfriends ("her girls") has always sounded off to me. They don't come across as real people, nor do her husband's other two wives.

Now that Mags mentioned it, the tone DOES sound a lot like the "Jackie" person, who purported to be one of a pair of bisexual twin sisters whose "bossy big sister" was a widowed stepmother who started sleeping with her stepson, then brought her much younger twin sisters into the relationship, and they all lived in a house and had sex together. (LOL, a memorable story!) There were no problems in this household, only stories of how one sister would come across the guy giving it to the other sister ever so hard...

Similar themes here. A whole house full of happily uninhibited ex-Mormon lesbians who love cock (just one cock, of course), want it up the ass, don't use birth control, get pregnant with miracle babies, love the patriarchy, and believe in being sexually available all the time...

In my writers' group, we have a joke for when a story is too unoriginal: "Try setting it on a spaceship next time!"
 
lunabunny said:
There are a few sects that are self contained communities that allow contact with the outside world. I'm no expert, but The Family International (formerly Children of God) springs to mind, or perhaps an off-shoot of LDS or the like.

The reason I'd considered the veracity of MM's situation is because, shortly prior to her turning up on this board, we had another poster who wrote in a similar style - whose user-name I cannot recall right now - who claimed to be living in a poly household with one husband and three of four other women... who are her biological sisters.

This poster was around for a short while, just before MajorMerrick began posting, and I had wondered at the validity of "her" situation because it just seemed SO extreme and as if she were trying to achieve exactly what you suggest in your last few paras, MsEmotional (i.e. writing for shock value/trying to push how far the forum's tolerance of multi-partner scenarios would go.)

Edit: Here is the poster I mentioned above, JackieJ:
http://www.polyamory.com/forum/showthread.php?p=371272
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MeeraReed said:
Okay, I believe that there are all sort of weird cults & religious communes in the U.S., but I don't believe this is a real story about real people.

Now that Mags mentioned it, the tone DOES sound a lot like the "Jackie" person, who purported to be one of a pair of bisexual twin sisters whose "bossy big sister" was a widowed stepmother who started sleeping with her stepson, then brought her much younger twin sisters into the relationship, and they all lived in a house and had sex together. (LOL, a memorable story!)

Similar themes here. A whole house full of happily uninhibited ex-Mormon lesbians who love cock (just one cock, of course), want it up the ass, don't use birth control, get pregnant with miracle babies, love the patriarchy, and believe in being sexually available all the time...
Click to expand...


I'm not sure if Mags mentioned it (if so I missed it), but I linked JackieJ's OP earlier in this thread.

In fact, when MajorMerrick first started posting, the likeness between "her" story and JackieJ's, as well as a the timing, just struck me as highly... "coincidental".

Admittedly, MajorMerrick's tale is a somewhat toned-down version; no doubt with the aim of making it more plausible than the out-and-out incest fantasy that was JackieJ's.

That said, I'm not averse to unconventional lifestyles per se, and let's face it, this forum has seen some rather worrying tales of woe and unusual-verging-on-bizarre relationship dynamics... so if we were to immediately disbelieve those that sound somewhat incredulous right off the bat, those people may miss out on some badly-needed advice or perspective.

Basically, if a person posts in Relationship Corner purportedly seeking advice, I believe we should offer it despite any initial scepticism we may have. If, however, they're simply seeking attention and have no real desire to make the necessary changes in their relationship, they're wasting everybody's time. Or worse, if they're just after an audience for their sexual fantasies, there are other forums dedicated to such things.
 
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