Recent content by Bella999

I don't want this to be a blog so to speak. I think there is a lot of wonderful advice here in this thread that is not typical of a blog. We certainly have applied some of the advice but not all of it. For now, things have calmed down and I am just looking for a girlfriend, but in all...

Congrats.... I would too. It's positive to hear good things and success on this site. Not sure where else it is going on.... no one I know has ever been able to do it. N" poly girl, we are having breakfast with her tomorrow morning and may spend the day with her. I saw her tonight also...

I'm not calling anyone here liars, just saying that I don't know "in real life" any successful poly people. Success to me means they have been in a substantially long term relationship that is NOT filled with drama and constant hair pulling, head and heart aches etc. For example, my wife and I...

I hope you find peace and happiness in your life. I always try to accept others the best I can as they are, and I appreciate the helpful and suggestive posts that many have made here. Not sure why you are so negative towards us... but you are free to have your opinions.. as do I. Our...

My wife set up a dinner date tomorrow night with a female friend who has told us both she is poly. She is having us both over for dinner. She also knows both of us quite well. So I suspect she is hoping I will take the bait so my wife can continue her sexual relationship with her boyfriend...

Today she brought home a big bag of his laundry. I asked, what is in the bag? she said, it's his laundry. It just seems like she is try to force this thing inch by inch. She sees him every single day for at least 8 hours. It's not a once a week thing or once in a while. I told her, "I hope...

Since my wife is still seeing her friend or boyfriend... and claims to love him.. but I am not ok with them having sex, then she is still polyamorous, but not poly sexual. She is not having sex with him anymore. I think people should care for one another... why not? Doesn't that make the...

Thanks for your kind and insightful responses.

So then if someone is just dating... being sexual with several people, but not at the same time... makes them polyamorous? Or do you have to be in at least one committed relationship plus dating to be poly? The term seems very loosely used. If I am dating Carol, Laura, Stef and Becky, I could...

I'm just kidding about the 1 in 1000. I have no idea really. Not meant to be taken serious, but successful poly relationships seem to be as rare as pink unicorns. Poly isn't new though.. is it? It's been written about for 1000's of years I think...

That is the thing.. you can't control what others say. Everyone is an expert in their own mind. My wife defends him constantly, doesn't seem to care that much about how I am feeling about all this. She does if I bring it up. She is not ever dismissive of what I say or feel. But she is...

Thanks for the thoughtful post. Therapists I am sure can be hit or miss. The Cafe owner's wife is a relationship therapist. Quite ironic actually. My wife is not someone who takes advice. She is very caviler in her approach toward life…. and in most instances I admire her for that. We had...

They still see one another every day. I don't see this connection they have going away any time soon. We all went to the carnival today, and they went on a ride together ( I chose not too). The whole thing feels like they are still hoping for me to change my mind and embrace this triad idea...

He argued that "swinging" is immoral and abusive. It lacks meaning and is damaging to a relationship. (It's ok to have sex with my wife though behind my back) He said "I know your wife better than you do" That didn't go over with me very well. He said he wanted to be part of our...

Wife has promised to end the sexual relationship with him, and just be friends. Swinging is on the side burner for now until she finds someone she is really attracted to. The other guy cornered me yesterday to have "the talk" that HE wanted to have. If he wanted any hope of making this work...