I'm not calling anyone here liars, just saying that I don't know "in real life" any successful poly people. Success to me means they have been in a substantially long term relationship that is NOT filled with drama and constant hair pulling, head and heart aches etc. For example, my wife and I rarely ever fight. Maybe once or twice a year at most. Neither of us are fighters. We didn't even fight over this... but we had to have a lot of deep discussions about what has been going on. We are kind of laughing about it now.
I think this site is great and many of the posters have given wonderful advice and suggestions. I'm just being honest here, and accept the reality that putting things into practice is not as easy as copy and pasting suggestions from "the poly manual" whether that be standard practice or protocol or the "unwritten" law of the land. Only seeing where this is all going and staying in the moment with all involved.
As far as the date the other night, it was a wonderful night. She cooked an amazing dinner for us with fresh Poki tuna and stir fry. Also some nice smoke and very open conversation. She is very confident, sexy and genuine.
While she has also had some swinger experience, most of her relationships have been poly. Some with singles and she has dated many couples as well.
She made it very clear she is interested in us. I do like her as a person, but not sure I want to rush into anything sexual. Doing so will light the flame on my wife's side to jump back into sex with her boyfriend, and I'm not thrilled with that idea. I like how things are now. I think getting to know "N" (poly girl) would be a good start. She's super cool and sweet.
Her background has been extensive in the S and M community as well. She's a very experience Dom, and has worked professionally in that area both as a trainer and fetish model. It's a world I am not very experience in and not all that interested in personally, but don't judge anyone who has. To each their own.
But again, not looking to be slayed her, but with all her poly experience, she's single and nothing has really worked out for her. She said however that she would like to be in a long term meaningful relationship. She said she would prefer that be with a couple because she is 100% bisexual. She said she absolutely needs both. She certainly knows who she is. I know she likes us both very much. I think I will plan on taking her on a date soon.
Not sexual, just spend a day with her in the city, have some food, drinks, goof around etc. That would be fun.
If over time, I feel I just crave her sexually that I can no longer resist, then I might have a different feeling about letting my wife go back into a sexual relationship with her boyfriend.
