Recent content by blablablu

I understand this. I wouldn't want to communicate in that way and be controlling. But inevitably the relationships are/get entangled, in the sense that no matter what happens, we are going to influence each other's lives, even if we do not talk directly about things. And the hinge has to well...

I understand having different needs, and I have a tendency to give the benefit of the doubt to people. I do not think that he is a terrible person, just that there is a lot of anxiety there and worry to ruin things, to lose control and to lose the benefits he gets from his relationships...

Thank you so much for taking time to reply and type all of this out. Yes, he said his exes had 'explosive' reactions and it was not bearable to continue the relationships because of how their reactions made him feel (guilty, controlled, and like he was walking on eggshells). He didn't say I...

I didn't expect all of his time, but for him to be more open and communicative. On my side, I could have been clearer with what I needed since day one but my naive mistake was to think that we all share a similar feeling of common sense and we are able to imagine how other people feel/might...

I also wonder what the side of his story would be. And I would LOVE to speak to his other partner and see what they think. But is it my place to do so? I should probably just leave it. But the relationship left me second-guessing myself and needing to know that I am not/was not making it all up...

I hope this is not a crime!! It cannot be! More is better, right? Isn't that one of the reason poly exists? To have more intimacy? More love? More connections? :) When I pointed this out, he responded by saying that I should also try and imagine how hard it was for him to manage two or more...

Thank you @GalaGirl. To go into detail, in order: Technically, he wasn't cheating, as he was following the agreements with Red, but trying to find circumventing small ways to not be controlled. The chase after the break-up was a bit circumstantial because we happened to meet at that point, but...

This is a reflection, a confused post to get a wider idea of what went wrong and to see if I am being unreasonable here. None of my friends are poly. It is incredibly difficult having to explain the intricacies of what happened and how I felt in this relationship with people who do not accept...