Recent content by Blah blah blah 12345

Yes, exactly. I didn't think of the distinction between envy and jealousy, but how you describe "envy" is exactly it. It's an unspoken thing that I strongly feel that non-sexual intimate touch would be good for me. But as I am having trouble finding that, it feels like she can just dial...

Wow, speaking of pacing myself, turns out there's a 10,000 character limit to comments! I gotta pace myself *here* Yes, exactly what I am thinking. I didn't realize this might specifically be what sex therapists recommend, so I am proud to get there by myself. But I think I mentioned above...

Thanks for the clarification. I thought it was the other way around, polyamory coming under the umbrella of ENM... Anyway, I would say it still counts. I don't think she's in love with anyone other than me, but I know that is her goal. I guess it comes down to if polyamory is a lifestyle or a...

You'd get those kinds of posts twice a week, wouldn't you? 13 years, and about two or three years open. Part of the reason this trauma narrative makes sense is because I have never been reliably sexually functional, and it's gotten worse. This is a way for her to have that need met. But it's...

Maybe I am wrong, but I didn't think polyamory split hairs about this. The "-amory" part comes from Latin, which has different words for romance and erotic love; amor is love, not sex. But since English uses "love" for both, I thought "polyamory" covered everything from open relationships to...

Thank you for the book reccomendation. I love practical advice like that. I very much agree. Unfortunately real life often doesn't let us do things perfectly in sequence. You can't put tackling jealousy and insecurity on the backburner until after you've healed from trauma. Because respecting...

I've made one or two posts in the past asking how to deal with the jealousy and insecurity of this lifestyle. It's a lifestyle I believe in, but I never anticipated it would be this hard. But in the past few weeks, the context for this jealousy and insecurity has completely changed. Maybe the...

My wife and I have been doing ENM for a while now, and we've decided to switch to a more polyamorous model for this, rather than kink. Initially, the switch was very bad for my mental health, for reasons I could not explain. It wasn't anything that happened. We still haven't really done...

Sorry, I didn't mean to imply this. She's not passing the buck, or blaming the guy, or saying it's not her decision. But I think you've hit on what I feel like is happening. And that gap between what *is* happening and what I *feel is* happening is the problem. It's not what I want to...

This forum must see a million 'How do you deal with jealousy?' posts, so I won't bore you with another one, especially since the answer would probably be "You just kinda do" or "Jealousy isn't an issue if polyamory is really for you." But jealousy is something I'm dealing with here. What bothers...