Recent content by costanza

Possibly. I can tell there are definitely stages. I don't know if they follow a particular pattern or order conventionally or if this is literally it: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance For me, it was sympathy first. My wife was hurting and needed something I was either not...

I get that part. What I don't get is why she chooses to say this with such abstraction and not specifically stating that it means she wants a sexual relationship vs something far less problematic, like asking if she can go to movies or something with him. It's like she doesn't want to say the...

Thanks, GalaGirl. I have talked with a poly friend who gave some kind counseling. Our situation is a little unconventional and it is hard to explain thoroughly. This friend also said the polybomb was wrong, poor timing, etc., but acknowledged that her own grief may well have been severe enough...

Thank you all. I think you are all correct. I am not required to do anything, but I am also not required to just consent to this. She knows my limits, but insists she doesn't ever want to be without me. I feel the same about her. Apparently we're both willing to torture each other to see what...

I've been struggling for about 4 months now. My parents died recently and I was in a deep state of emotional ruin. A few months after the death, while I am still trying to figure out how to cope, my wife of 20 years pulls me aside and tells me she is polyamorous, has a boyfriend, and wants to...