Recent content by EldritchDucky

Poly Dumpster Fires would have been a better name for the show.

So, Jess and I have started watching “This is Poly” because she just loves trashy reality TV. And this one doesn’t disappoint. But it will disappoint you if you’re looking for poly representation. Because of course it’s disappointing. What else could it have been… One is a triad with the OC...

Anyone else remember a scene from Star Trek Deep Space Nine where Lita and Bashir break up by sleeping with other people on Risa and then part amicably? There’s a casual theory floating around that this was an idea concocted by one of Lita’s ex-boyfriends…

For me, it’s about striking a balance of supporting all my values. Happiness depends on our alignment with our values, so I choose to best-fit those that matter to my happiness, not to favor just one preoccupation. I am misaligned for certain, but only in the present. My goal is alignment in the...

Hi @Magdlyn! Well, it took me a further year to get back, but here I am! And what a year it's been. The big update is that we have gone full on swinging! We joined a local group of blended swinger/poly people where my wife, Jess, and I participated in a orgy that left us having broken the...

Okay, I've clearly overstepped here. I do have some strong opinions, but I don't have the same experiences. I maintain we often take actions that are counterproductive and deepen the pain, but I understand why we do it. I'm out.

I dunno, my lovely gay therapist went to seminary, and look what that did to him! And aww hell no 🤣 I’ve got utter contempt for religion.

I’m popping up in this discussion for reasons I wasn’t immediately aware of. On reflection, I think I now know. Do not expect people to read your mind. Even if you’ve communicated this before. They still can’t read your mind. They will still rely on their own brain to determine what went wrong...

A professional who should know the damage rigidity does… Were they a pastor in a past career? Makes me think about all those people who talk to their religious leaders like they’re therapists, and they get them the same absurd rigidity. That’s why I’m changing careers into clinical psych.

“Lifestyle” implies out of the normal. “THE Lifestyle” implies there’s an ironically all-consuming not-normal staking claim to be more normal than other not-normals. Why not just dispense with the idea of normal, already? It’s a statistical distribution. Its proper name is the Gaussian...

Could we normalize our differences? Please? Denormalize normal? Just a thought.

Such a good article. This is really good advice for any couple, especially for folk who got married (too) young and have been enmeshed for a decade or two. When we started talking about what our future as a couple looked like, we realized our mismatches meant we needed to find out who we were...

Ah, well if that’s dinged, dinged shouldn’t be anyone other than dinged. 😁 I was just wondering because I’ve heard of this strategy being deployed before and I always found it rather counterproductive and self-gratifying. Maybe that’s the point?

Someone explain to me how using the pretense of going to the bathroom and then leaving without being clear that’s what you’re doing and why you’re doing it is somehow not indirect, passive, and/or passive-aggressive?

Both/and. I'd be tempted to answer that question rigidly since it was posed with a certain rigid expectation, but... why not both? I'd say it honors the feelings for who they are, were, and are expected to be in your life. It's also a commitment to let that bond mean you show up for them...