Recent content by elle

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    Mono Folks Who Are Only Open To Save A Marriage

    Thank you for this. I sometimes lurk, but wanted to say thank you. I appreciate your perspective.
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    Difference between partner of a polyamorous women and a cuckold

    :) Warm fuzzy. Labels don't matter! Always important to recognize. Authentic matters. My husband wonders the same thing too, sometimes. On the one hand, behaviors I enjoy engaging in completely turn him on (he's finally able to express that he is a voyeur, or would like to explore that) and...
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    Our poly situation (mostly pleasant and peaceful) is now presented with a quandary.

    I've always taken a new love interest to Planned Parenthood with me. We both get tested, and afterwards we go out for a drink. :) I've been doing that since high school. I find if I'm pleasant and helpful, I can remove some of the barriers my partner(s) have to doing chores/appointments that...
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    How to you talk?

    Yes. It does. We have taken to lots of reading, writing our thoughts and sharing them (it really helps us!) and also grounding ourselves with lots of gratitude/in the moment work. So much of what we expect in relationships and what we enjoy about them is perceived and unspoken. I see this as an...
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    How to you talk?

    Yes, we'll see! I'm excited to have found one close to where we live and with good availability. At this point, I really have no idea what the outcome will be. My most immediate goal is for us to be able to determine what we are all comfortable with, and unpack baggage anyone might be...
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    How to you talk?

    Ack! I had a lovely reply with quotes and deep, thoughtful answers- then I waited too long to post and lost the whole thing. Wah! I forgot about that with these forums. First- thank you. All of your responses gave me great things to chew on, think about. We are a MFM 'friendship,' that I have...
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    How to you talk?

    There are three of us- me, my longtime partner (we are married) and his long time friend. Who, over time has also become my best friend and now someone I'm very attached to. We have to work stuff out. We tried going to our separate corners for two years, but that wasn't the answer. Everyone...
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    I tend to lurk, but....

    I think this community is amazing for self reflection and relationship growth. I so appreciate the advice I read. I think it's applicable is so many ways. I have asked for advice here before and found it helpful. I have come back and begun reading more as my partner and I continue to learn...
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    Everything changing at the same time: overwhelming!

    Just wanted to offer a virtual hug. Sounds very hard!!
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    how to approach spouse over an open marriage

    Thanks for the great links on this thread. My husband and I are learning to understand each other as well. As Galagirl has mentioned in other threads, one of the hardest things is when a partner has assumptions about the marriage ('we're married so that's it, marriage means monogamous'), or...
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    Stuff is coming out of the woodwork

    I called out BFF about two weeks ago now. When confronted with the reality of the situation (something he was fine with just letting it happen without talk!) he practically ran screaming from the room. Couldn't 'fess up to his feelings, but I did. I'm proud of that. I don't regret being...
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    Proposing polyamory to a partner for the 1st time. Merged Threads, General Discussion

    Want an update?!! I did finally show dh the Wikipedia definition of polyamory. He gets it. Took awhile to get through the 'well just how does this work?!!' questions and so forth. I think it's hard when you've got one person who is your 'everything' (me) and they tell you 'I'm open to more...
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    Why and how did you get into poly?

    I found it when I was trying to figure out how to be honest with my partner about who I am. I was just googling around and found the Wikipedia definition. Thank goodness!
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    Feeling like being poly is just selfish

    Wow, awesome. My dh isn't there yet, but I see him figuring things out slowly. :) I have a similar situation. And-- go midwives!! :D Our kids were born at home.
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    Struggling with a breakup

    Me too!!! :) It totally sucks. If the whole experience weren't so fresh for me, it would be funny. We talked it all out. We got down to the nitty gritty. He decided he wanted someone to be there when he wakes up, to come home to, to hold hands with while admiring the sunset. Ah, c'est la vie...
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