Recent content by MissHBee

I'm realizing that the truth underlying everything is that I have life-partner feelings for Cicada...and I don't for Acorn. I DO have romantic/sexual feelings for her, I enjoy spending time with her, I want her to be a part of my life. I actually feel for her very similarly to how I have felt...

Had a great weekend that also illuminated some things for me! Acorn and I had sex this weekend, after at least a month if not more — it was certainly the first time since the conversation we had where we took a break from threesome play. I really enjoyed it, it was hot, and it made me feel...

I've been at my parents' for Thanksgiving, so nothing particularly relationshippy has been happening lately. The only thing that came up was a bit of surprising sadness about attending the holiday and a few other things solo. I say this is surprising because I have NEVER before wished to have a...

A few updates: As I mentioned on the other thread I made, Cicada's work party went very well, all things considered. I was worried about it being awkward or hurtful to have him treat me as a platonic friend and it really wasn't — he was warm and comfortable with me, not stiff or distancing at...

Update: The party went very well — I had an excellent time, actually, and although I was predictably a little sad being introduced as his friend, it wasn't as awkward as I worried it would be. Cicada was still very warm and comfortable with me (I guess I was worried he'd be stiff and keep me at...

Yes, Cicada told me that he told his friends in advance that he would be coming with a guest who is a close friend and not his wife and that his wife is aware — he told me that this would be his strategy when he invited me, so it's not like it was sprung on me, but it turns out I feel more...

Hi everyone, thank you so much for your thoughts! I thought about it overnight and I think that this is an example of a pattern that I'm only just learning to identify, which is that if I find myself spinning out about what other people are maybe thinking/feeling about each other, it usually...

I am in a year-old triad with a married couple, who I've named Cicada and Acorn. They have been married for 7 years, together for about a decade, and have a three year old daughter. Up until recently, I've been really happy in this relationship and I am still happy with my individual...

You're right Magdlyn — I was maybe a little bit avoiding advice by posting it here, because I am worried about what the advice might be, but I think I need it.

Tomorrow Cicada and I are going to a formal dinner together that's connected with his work and I'm pretty nervous about it. He invited me a couple months ago and I was pretty surprised — he is not "out" to these people, and it seemed to me like the kind of event it would be weird to take someone...

Cicada offered to come over during my work day yesterday because I was feeling so down about the election results. I warned him that I had like five different things to do and he insisted that he would be completely fine with that and would just be there to support me in whatever way he could...

That does sound really similar. Acorn struggles with anxiety, she has some pelvic floor issues from giving birth, and some kind of not-yet-diagnosed problem that means that she's often exhausted, has nausea, or has period cramps (she thinks this is a problem with her diet, I am not convinced). I...

Yay indeed! I think that having one successful group talk like this will make it easier to have the next one, whenever and on whatever subject that might be. I like this a lot and I can see how it fits this experience. We talked a bit about the idea that we've developed habits over the last...

I've been thinking about this a lot. I do think I see her as vulnerable and I feel the need to prop her up. I'm afraid of her (and most people, to be fair) being unhappy or angry with me. And although I wouldn't use the word "volatile," exactly, Acorn has a quality that I'm often drawn to in my...

Great news — my conversation went well! I had a LOT of pre and post stress and anxiety about it, though. So I sent my text to the group chat on Friday morning and Cicada wrote back right away to say of course we could talk. And Acorn said nothing. Which completely freaked me out — I spent the...