Recent content by nks

I agree with the idea of working within the dyad instead of trying to veto. It is at this point is not really working. I think a more sensible way to deal with it is to communicate your needs: time, etc. so that you can feel more secure. Ask for some solid boundaries if she wants to continue the...

Hi! I also read some hotwife/cuckold forums from time to time and this sort of thing can happen. The problem is that many men see hotwifing as something purely sexual, but people often have emotions. Some wives can keep it physical and they are okay with that, but many can't. Even if not...

I think you need to talk about what he really wants. It seems he is changing his original position, so his intentions need to be discussed. Some men naturally would want a triad, so they might try to push lovers together, or might want the lovers to be at least on friendly terms. You can tell...

I'm starting to think that maybe it is just my first "real" love that hasn't required any performing and hiding on my part. She obviously knows I'm polyamorous and we don't start from a mono perspective like with him; she knows my sexual preferences and also is kinky like me, so all this in...

Hi! It seems your relationship is still relatively new. The truth is that there are many kinds of love (as mentioned above ERI, NRE, and also spousal, person-you-went-through-difficulties-with type, good friend, great mental match, doing things together type, opposite attracts type, and many...

I know this feels like general advice, but maybe you need to find another lover that does not cross any boundaries. If sex drive is an issue, then maybe first a friendship/dates kind of thing. It might be the best solution to lower your pain.

Hi! Reading your deep analysis of unicorn hunting and sensitivity to the sitatuation, I think you might have a shot at doing well in complex relationships. I am someone who stumbled into a triad (FMF) with zero knowledge of polyamory and no experience in dealing with complex relationships...

Hi! Polyamory mixed in with sexual orientation issues can complicate things. I can see that you are really trying to solve the situation. I think you should not give up yet, and try communicating more. So, just to be clear: you are feeling that you might be a lesbian (sexually), but you are...

I was in an FMF relationship with A and B. When we broke up due to distance, I kept dating one of the girls (A) long distance for a short while mono, then to her request in an open relationship. And sometimes we talked all three of us as friends. A knew the other, B, and me were in love and was...

Interesting thread. I was in an FMF and it was very satisfying but was a short-term thing. We all got separated by distance, and long-term the whole was perhaps not too stable. The girls liked each other, but clearly one of the girls (A) had much more affection towards the other (B) than the...

There can be many reasons, of course. There are women who just crave attention. But, I would assume that she has something deeper going on with that male friend. Maybe an ambigous, a little flirty relationship where they don't cross the line, but go beyond just a little for excitement. Maybe she...

I can relate. I'm in a monogamous relationship now, but if we openned up it would be pretty much like your case for me. I am not a 'going to bars' type and prefer deeper relationship that develop into something more. Not easy when you have no time. I would try but probably would not get quick...

This is indeed a difficult situation. I feel that there is the bisexual element at play. Sometimes when you are bisexual, it is not easy to find the right partner. This is just my conjecture, but this is how I read this: Britney might have had a longstanding desire to be with a woman, even...

I understand how you feel. The main problem often is not that our wife is with someone else or that they have sex, but the fear of losing her attention and focus on us. That we have to compete for time, affection, and other things in her heart, and maybe even lose her. The beginning is the worst...

Hi, I have limited experience with poly compared to other posters but I just add a few thoughts. At first read, it reads like he is more into her and he neglects your needs. It might be the case. However, I just wanted to add another perspective. I don't know if this is something that is useful...