Recent content by SlowPoly

  1. SlowPoly

    Years of love, years of slow change, and what's next?

    It's been over four years (and a global pandemic timewarp) since I posted an update, so, here goes. Mitch, Little One, and I are still living about two hours from Woof and the older kids (who are all adults now, but still live with their dad when not away at college). Little One is 7 and...
  2. SlowPoly

    Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

    You look so good, BlueBird!! Just popped in to see your latest, and I just love seeing your happy face, your beautiful family, and your thriving charity. And the O-line at the zoo - nobody was using it last time I was playing tourist in DC. :\ Happy travels!!
  3. SlowPoly

    Does marriage affect autonomy in Polyamory?

    Here’s the post I wrote less than a year after our divorce: Thread 'Divorce on principle' https://polyamory.com/threads/divorce-on-principle.70464/ We had a pretty good discussion in that thread.
  4. SlowPoly

    Does marriage affect autonomy in Polyamory?

    Some people split shared costs proportionately with income. Just a side thought for the changes going on in your lives. There are ways to support each other without marriage. (I did that!) I got “unmarried” after 17 years of legal marriage (and three kids) in order to have more autonomy and...
  5. SlowPoly

    Help balancing relationships

    Galagirl gives great advice, as usual. I want to say that you seem very clear about your preferences and comfortable with them as far as not needing to “grow” to meet someone else’s rather different way of doing poly. Your “okay with ktp but not hosting” and other preferences resonate with me...
  6. SlowPoly

    What are the laws regarding polygamy in US

    Or even if women have equal access to the independence, education, jobs, and other resources that allow men to aspire to wealth?
  7. SlowPoly

    Sudden Onset Polyamory....

    Unsolicited advice incoming: paragraph breaks would make it easier to read your story.
  8. SlowPoly

    Reintroduced to Poly

    So, you're not interested in statistics ... what kind of information are you wanting, here? You're experienced in relationships, and you know that "marriage" usually implies long term commitment, and you know that you and she can and should define the commitments that you would be making. Will...
  9. SlowPoly

    Should they stay or should they go now

    Apologies, Magdlyn. I was elaborating on my partner's preferences, not trying to generalize yours.
  10. SlowPoly

    Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

    Ugh. I'm so glad this is before the sex feelings complicated things. I'm sorry they had to learn this about their relationship with you as the catalyst. Such a bummer. {{all the hugs}}
  11. SlowPoly

    Should they stay or should they go now

    I should add that one of my partners would probably agree with Mags. They like for agreements to be set in stone. I know this about them and am not likely to poke at that preference over a week of at-home nights, without extenuating circumstances. But for me? I have no problem with a request to...
  12. SlowPoly

    Should they stay or should they go now

    I disagree. if they just went and stayed overnight without discussing it, that would seem like breaking the agreement. Or if the agreement were "we won't even discuss sleepovers for a week." (And this is all assuming there wasn't a miscommunication in forming the original agreement.) In the...
  13. SlowPoly

    New and seeking advice

    I'm with Marcus. I will point out that negotiating child care, vehicle/home use, or other shared responsibilities with another partner isn't the same as permission/prohibition. My nesting partner has to be consulted on, or at the very least pointed to, calendar additions. My co-parents need...
  14. SlowPoly

    New and seeking advice

    "Group marriage" and "harem" may be your next search terms. The only example of a large group like that which I remember reading about in the forums turned out to be a hoax - someone was trying to play off their fantasy as their actual day to day life. Maybe there were two of those in recent...
  15. SlowPoly

    Advice on where to start when looking to date

    Hi, Crazy, and welcome. Are you hoping to form a triad (where the two men are involved at some level with each other, or just want to date two men separately? Or are you just looking for some threesome fun, perhaps with a stable pair of sex partners. Your wording sounds like you want a tidy...
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