Recent content by SlowPoly

  1. SlowPoly

    New to this, moving slowly

    I get this off and on in life, too. I’m always trying to be a partner I want to be with. I’m not always self-smitten. But sometimes I really like that I’m stuck with me. 😅
  2. SlowPoly

    In love with sisters

    I see an awful lot of ego in here, too. But I don’t see any willingness to solve the conflicts inherent in the situation. What could anyone advise? Is OP looking for absolution or validation or something? He “knows the advice” we’re going to give. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
  3. SlowPoly

    getting emotional support for an unconventional living situation

    Meera, you’ve been through the wringer — multiple wringers. It sounds like you know this, but in case you don’t think of it often: Go easy on you. This is a LOT and it’s not like it’s your fault or you deserve it because you didn’t communicate expertly and plan for all potential roadbumps. We...
  4. SlowPoly

    Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

    Bluebird, I hope you’re getting better and getting tons of sleep and cuddles. ❤️‍🩹
  5. SlowPoly

    poly living arrangements

    I’m here! Ah, I miss Dagferi’s updates and advice. I lived (in various homes) with Woof and our three kids and just visited Mitch, up until Mitch and I had a kid on the way. I started staying at his place until Little One was born, and then we got an apartment for the three of us. After a few...
  6. SlowPoly

    Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

    (1) All the hugs. (2) This crap is hard. (3) You have a huge positive impact in the world.
  7. SlowPoly

    Might be starting a poly relationship soon, but need advice

    Yeah, lean into this. There’s no emergency. You don’t really want your interest to be the thing that keeps someone from finding an amazing relationship with someone else — so don’t worry about jumping while she’s single. Explore your wants while you learn about real-life relationship options...
  8. SlowPoly

    Working out of town

    You can ask for anything you want! You might get a “no” if what you’re asking doesn’t sound good to your husband. Are you okay with that? Some things you might want to consider: (1) Will asking for this significantly reduce the amount of time they spend together? If so, expect resistance. (2)...
  9. SlowPoly

    Curious if Polyamory is right for me.... or am I just un satisfy-able??

    I second most of the advice you’ve already received. And I want to know if you’ve done any reading about Relationship Anarchy. It would be a big shift for your current primary relationship. But it might be a philosophical framework you can work from, if that helps you feel more confident as you...
  10. SlowPoly

    Unexpected feelings for a monogamous guy

    I tried to write a helpful response yesterday and gave up. And now Mags and Gala have done a lovely job saying the things I was wanting to say, and a lot more. +1 on their advice. Take care of you, littlewind3.
  11. SlowPoly

    Question

    There might also be other things going on besides envy (or jealousy, if that’s proceeding from it). You might be feeling loneliness or fear of missing out. You might just be missing them when they’re out, and the nest (assuming nesting) is too quiet. You might be feeling negative feelings about...
  12. SlowPoly

    Wife fell in love with her friend. Now we're talking about making a triad.

    You seem kinda “all or nothing” in your thinking/planning. I could be wrong here. But it sounds like she saying she wants more attention when you’re all together. Not that she wants zero attention paid to Friend. You are absolutely right that striving for balance is a fool’s errand. But for sure...
  13. SlowPoly

    Fun and Frolic With Long-Term Love

    Ugh, Bluebird what a bomb drop in a single doctor visit! I’m glad you have the diabetes education office involved, and that everything is being followed up/double checked, and that the other folks will be checking your esophagus (fucking GERD, man. Ugh). I’m sending hugs and hoping your body...
  14. SlowPoly

    Age gap questioms

    Actually, I’m going to answer this further and say I think besides appreciating my curiosity and interest, they appreciate my (mental) attention and my desire to spend time giving them that attention. In addition they are able to talk frankly with me about sex, relationships, aging, death...
  15. SlowPoly

    Age gap questioms

    YES
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