Recent content by vanquish

  1. V

    Please tell me things will get better. I need to hear it.

    Thanks for those who are now being kind. I don't expect yesmen. Or to be told I'm 100% correct. Just needed some sympathy. I wish everyone, including the ones who attacked me, well.
  2. V

    Please tell me things will get better. I need to hear it.

    Yes, I show love by doing that when I can, but this whole control thing is out of left field. I find the commentary about fantasies very insulting. Which I suppose you feel is ok because of how you've judged me because of the story I've told. There are no fantasies going on. All I want is...
  3. V

    Please tell me things will get better. I need to hear it.

    Tough love. I get it. Well, I've come to the realization that I've been lying to myself about needing to get another job. Right now I work 2 days a week for a lawyer who pays me $100 a day. I was also renting out a room in my house, but that's no longer an option with the water. I was kidding...
  4. V

    Please tell me things will get better. I need to hear it.

    To your point of me having the car keys...and the financial control.... Again, my bad storytelling and jumping to conclusions. I didn't give her an ultimatum on the way to the meeting. I was home and she came home to spend the night during the period while the guy was visiting. And that's...
  5. V

    Please tell me things will get better. I need to hear it.

    See that's where you're not understanding. And you can chalk that up to my bad writing AND people jumping to conclusions. When I was poly...Audrey was too. I wasn't keeping the poly for myself and holding her to a mono standard. Holy hell. If that's the way the story sounded then no wonder...
  6. V

    Please tell me things will get better. I need to hear it.

    I hear what you're saying Gala, but when I say enabled...I should have chosen another word. That term has a specific psychological connotation. What I meant to say was that whatever she wanted to do...I supported. She wasn't working. I encouraged her to get a job. She hadn't gotten her GED. I...
  7. V

    Please tell me things will get better. I need to hear it.

    Whoa. I left for awhile to clear my head and what a response to come back to. If you think that that I was trying to control her, then either I wrote things poorly or you missed the point of what I was saying. It was never my intention to control her. Nor did I do it in practice. I enabled her...
  8. V

    Please tell me things will get better. I need to hear it.

    Wow. It's August 2016. I haven't been back in forever. I came back because my journey with Audrey seems over. We broke up last week and I'm devastated. That's not even the word. Decimated. I should probably go back a bit before this to explain how it happened. Audrey and I started dating not...
  9. V

    Head spinning. Every day is a different adventure.

    Wow. It's August 2016. I haven't been back in forever. I came back because my journey with Audrey seems over. We broke up last week and I'm devastated. I should probably go back a bit before this to explain how it happened. Sometime in 2015 Audrey began talking to a guy from some dating...
  10. V

    BDsm

    Agree wholeheartedly. She says her safeword and he KEEPS GOING for god's sake. Terrible example of the lifestyle.
  11. V

    What do you think of "seduction community" or "game"?

    In my opinion, all that alpha/beta stuff is complete horse hockey. It's definitely horse hockey when it comes to animals. Read: Everything you know about pack theory is wrong. It's not true at all. And with human beings, it's just a douchey way to describe interpersonal relationships. Saying...
  12. V

    Am I ready for her to get physical with him?

    To me, Infinity analyzed this amazingly in my estimation. Probably the most important thing to address for you is that you didn't sign up for a poly marriage. You don't have to put up with it just because you love her. No, you can't forcibly change her. But you can set your own limits and see...
  13. V

    New to poly, new to performance anxiety.

    I think a mix of Mag's and HappilyFallenAngel's approach sounds good. Yes, you can work around the issue temporarily, but you want to address and fix the problem. Don't see using medicine as a failure. But dont use it as a crutch when there are emotional issues too. Kevin/kdt26417 hit the nail...
  14. V

    Two times I have felt angry or jealous, I don't understand.

    Waking up angry. This can be a sign of depression. If you haven't gone to talk to someone about it, you might consider it. Here's why. When you are depressed you tend to cycle intensely through the same problems and same solutions over and over and over. This is part of our evolution built...
  15. V

    Head spinning. Every day is a different adventure.

    Has it really been that long since I've posted something here? I guess I come here to hash out problems and there really haven't been any. Audrey and I are still living in my old home and having a great time. We'd been functionally monogamous, but still reminding each other that we were/are...
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